Grooooooooow babies!!

How 2 men + 2 women - sex + science = 2 babies!!

This is the funny, heart-warming, tearful, inspiring, and shocking truth about my journey to have a child.

How a man, another man, a woman, another woman, a couple lawyers, a few doctors, a psychologist, a couple social workers and some agencies make a baby.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Stranger Danger

My kids are in full stranger danger mode.  This past week or two we have had a lot of visitors.  The kids clung to Derek or me, sometimes ventured out to the stranger for a few minutes, and then ran back to whatever daddy was closest.  It's both exhausting and sweet.  When my arms got tired of holding them I'd remind myself that this means they trust their daddies and have bonded with us.

My parents just visited for a few days and the boys certainly were suspicious of them when they first arrived.  Over the course of a few days they became much more comfortable with these new faces.  When I left the apartment the boys were content to be with grandma and grandpa.  If daddy was home, however, then grandma and grandpa became a very distant second and third place.  Oddly enough my less adventurous boy, Jeff, did a little better with new faces than my, daredevil, Aaron who often didn't go more than a few feet away from me and would bawl if I went to get the laundry or go to the bathroom. 

This happened with friends, cousins and grandparents.  Every stranger was a danger.


Chloe recently came over for about an hour.  She had some donations for my workplace and I had some old clothes for her new baby cousins.  I was so happy to see her.  She arrived just as the boys woke up from a nap.  While eating, they were pretty cranky and suspicious of her...but right after waking up and before getting their milk they're always cranky and suspicious! 

After I got some food in their tummies, we went to play.  After 10 minutes or so Jeff allowed Chloe to hold him.  It's not like he immediately left me to be in her arms, but he was OK to be near her.  Aaron was, as usual, more cautious and only crawled up to her but cried if she tried to get too close.  Still, he was fascinated by her.  I really wonder if there still is some connection to her.  Maybe I'm just hoping there was a connection.  Maybe they did recognize her voice.  Maybe there is a familiar smell.  Maybe there's a sixth sense that she was OK.  We'll never know, but it made me happy to see Chloe with her surro-babies again.

Monday, February 4, 2013

The Special Book

There is a book that my friend got me.  It's not just any friend, though.  It's the Michaela in the "Michael & Michaela" story so that makes it extra special.  And the book is called Why I'm So Special: A Book About Surrogacy With Two Daddies.

Once you get past the 1970s mustache on the blonde daddy (and after you know the whole book was illustrated by a 9 year old it makes these childlike picture endearing) you get a sweet story that will help my children understand what it took to bring them into this world.  The book starts with the daddies falling in love, getting married (by a white haired lady without a single wrinkle!), going to the doctor, meeting a surrogate, etc.  You all know how this works.

As I read the book I think back on all the steps that I took to make these beautiful children.  My order was a little different.  I met the agency, met the surrogate, met the man, fell in love, had the children, and plan to get married one of these days when we have time to plan a wedding.  Oh, also there was nothing in my contract about a Paris trip and a dog.  Apparently the dads in the story decide to bring their surrogate to Pairs and buy her a French poodle to celebrate her being their surrogate.  (I hope the necklace Derek and I got our surrogate was satisfactory.)

I have tried to read this book to my kids several times.  I don't usually finish it.  The real reason I don't finish it is because Aaron and Jeff tend to grab books after a few pages.  They either close the books or try to rip the pages.  Secretly I'm a little grateful.  You see, every time I try to read this book I become emotional even after reading just a few pages.  Thinking back on my whole experience and finally becoming a dad is a little overwhelming and wonderful.  My emotions become a little more subdued as time goes on so one day I'm sure I'll be able to read the whole book.  It's pretty cool to have a book that parallels my life.  

While searching on Amazon it turns out that there are a few children's books on surrogacy besides this one.  Melissa at A Baby For You wrote a great post about some great books with same sex parents.  As the kids approach their first birthdays I thought about ordering some books as gifts.  Then again, maybe ordering something that makes me cry on an already emotional day isn't a great idea.  I might just have to buy something silly and fun like the present my brother gave us at the baby shower a year ago...

Anyone have other ideas for first birthday gifts?  (And yes, I know...paper and boxes are best for one year old birthday gifts!  I want to give them something besides those things, too.)