tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14779426826353691442024-02-19T18:09:50.691-06:00Michael's Surrogate ExperienceMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.comBlogger122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-19307951161639897072016-11-12T22:58:00.002-06:002016-11-12T22:58:47.025-06:00Where Have All The Babies Gone?I just wrote an entry on my fatherhood blog wondering what has happened to all the amazing stories I followed online. I "met" so many bloggers who were intended parents or surrogates and I loved all of your stories. My heart sank when the pregnancy tests came back negative and tears welled up in my eyes when I read the birth stories of singletons, twins or triplets. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It has been four to five years since many of us were in our journeys and I have no idea what happened to some of these babies who I fell in love with or the couples who were struggling so hard to become parents. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here is a link to the blog entry I recently wrote. If you are reading this and you are an IP or a surrogate please let me know how you're doing. Click on the link below.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/2016/11/where-have-all-babies-gone.html" target="_blank">WHERE HAVE ALL THE BABIES GONE?</a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-37176065271928709332013-11-08T12:44:00.001-06:002013-11-08T12:44:09.559-06:00A Daily OccurrenceI think I have previously written that not a day would go by that I wouldn't think about my surrogate, "Chloe." I said it because it felt like the right thing to say at the time. I said it because it seemed deep and sentimental. I said it because it was a good way to end a blog entry.<br />
<br />
Now, 19+ months after my amazing surrogate delivered two great boys, I can say it again because I know it's the truth.<br />
<br />
I don't know if every IP feels this way. I hear about some IPs who cut off contact with their surrogates after delivery. When the contract is done some parents feel no need to stay in touch with a woman who forever changed their lives. I don't understand that. I know some of the reasons for that happening, but I knew it wasn't right for me. <br />
<br />
I swear that I look at my kids and constantly thank the universe for connecting me with my surrogate as well as my lawyer, agencies and egg donor. My Facebook friends are doing a daily gratitude status for the month of November. Can I just cheat a little and say that for the next 30 days having Chloe in my life is what makes me grateful? Well, maybe she gets 29 days of thanks and the grandparents, who visit and let Derek and me have a date night once every few months, should get a day of thanks too. Chloe stuck with me through all the ups and downs, traveled far for doctor appointments, welcomed Derek into the picture, allowed me to be at all the appointments (and even let my parents see an ultrasound), came to the baby shower with adorable hats for the kids, still loves to read about what they're up to on Facebook and is an all around great lady. I really do think about her daily even on those days when I'm dealing with <a href="http://www.michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-case-of-pee-pee-diaper.html" target="_blank">random dirty diapers on the floor</a>, <a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/2012/05/story-time-with-twins.html" target="_blank">exhausting story times</a>, <a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/2013/08/bath-time-with-twins.html" target="_blank">crazy bath time</a>, <a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/2013/06/were-officially-crime-family.html" target="_blank">breaking the law</a>, <a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/2012/09/warning-dirty-content.html" target="_blank">dirty diaper issues</a>, and <a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/2012/07/what-is-parenthood-like-this-says-it.html" target="_blank">general parenthood woes.</a> Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-19678781567646072572013-10-25T13:36:00.003-05:002013-10-25T13:36:51.787-05:00Surrogacy on TVDoes anyone else watch <em>The Good Wife</em>? It's a favorite in my house. Sunday nights, after the boys go to bed, Derek and I love the show. I have been a fan of the lead actress since her <em>ER</em> days and I was thrilled that she got another TV show -- especially such a good one.<br />
<br />
A couple weeks ago the show had a lawsuit about surrogacy. I have to say that I spent half an hour yelling at the TV! <br />
<br />
The gist of the episode, called <a href="http://www.cbs.com/shows/the_good_wife/video/22AE2929-D1B2-20D0-8581-9FD3E913A2A9/the-good-wife-a-precious-commodity/" target="_blank">A Precious Commodity</a>, was that the intended parents found out that their baby was going to have an 85% chance of a birth defect. They wanted the surrogate to abort the baby and the surrogate refused.<br />
<br />
I yelled at the TV because I had learned that, regardless of what my contract with my surrogate said, there are some federal laws that overrule it. Every surrogate has the right to make decisions about her own body and state courts and state laws can't change that. I remember my lawyer telling me, "It's your fetus, but her body." <br />
<br />
I also yelled at the TV because the surrogate was portrayed to be a candy-eating college student. Illinois law says that to be a surrogate a woman must have already had a child. I believe she also has to be raising that child. It's true that this couple on TV might not have found their surrogate through a reputable agency. There are certainly ways to get around the best practices and my guess is that could be a reason why they ended up in court. There was no mention of an agency in the show.<br />
<br />
I won't spoil the end, but let's just say that I think the writers realized they had 10 minute left to wrap up the story and they came up with something that wasn't very satisfying to me. <br />
<br />
So while I'm glad that surrogacy made it onto TV, I'm not sure showing this story really was portraying surrogacy in a good light. Could this happen? Yes. Does it happen? I'm sure it does. I just know that if anyone asks me about this episode I'll emphasize the great relationship I had - and still have - with my surrogate and the support we gave each other during our journey. <br />
<br />
<br />
Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-37350749948250542722013-10-11T14:53:00.001-05:002013-10-11T14:53:32.849-05:00Where Are My Bloggers?About two years ago I wrote a blog entry talking about <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-online-family.html" target="_blank">my online family</a>. I have become Facebook friends with a few of them and have loved to watch their families grow. A lot of my cyber-families have had success with surrogacy. There are a lot of new parents out there and a lot of lovely surrogates who update me (and everyone else) on the beautiful babies they now have or carried. There are still a few families out there who haven't had success and it's hard to watch these online friends go through so many ups and downs. I'm still hoping these last few couples I have followed will find success and become parents. <br />
<br />
If you look at our lives today and compare them with a few years ago I have to say that the biggest difference, of course, is that we now have kids. The second biggest difference is that I don't get as many blog entries to read. <br />
<br />
I usually log into my blogs on the two days I work. A few years ago I was thrilled to get updates on so many surrogacy stories every time I logged in. Now I only see a couple entries a week instead of a couple entries a day.<br />
<br />
I'm busy too. Life with kids is keeping me much busier (and much more exhausted) than I could have imagined. I know my time is now spent making forts out of blankets and kissing bumped heads instead of blogging. Still, I hope that I'll get updates on my online family for years to come. There is something amazing about what we all went through together - the support, the tears, the ultrasounds, and the joyful endings. The surrogates, IPs and babies really do have a special place in my heart.<br />
<br />
Of course my surrogate is still in touch with me. She hasn't seen the boys in a while and I really hope to change that. I had said before that not a day will go by, for the rest of my life, that I don't think of her. That's true. I'm always thinking of her as I look at my kids. My mind then often wonders what's going on with Jenni, Jesse, Doug, Allie, Jude, Baxter, and all the other people who I've met. Keep in touch and know that I'm thinking of all of you.<br />
<br />Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-42961827478344247392013-07-01T11:31:00.000-05:002013-07-01T11:31:15.682-05:00To Freeze Or Not To Freeze, That Is The QuestionIt came again: that letter from the company that freezes embryos. If memory serves me correctly this is the third years I've had to make a decision. In 2010 I had my first embryos. They were frozen of course. By the end of 2010 I had one embryo and was advised to find a new egg donor, but I still kept that one embryo from the first donor. In 2011 I had success with a new egg donor, transfered two fresh embryos and froze seven, I believe.<br />
<br />
In 2012, about five months after the kids were born, I got my yearly bill again and decided to keep the embryos. All sorts of "what if..." scenarios ran through my head and I was barely functioning due to the lack of sleep. I wasn't ready to make any kind of big decision at that time.<br />
<br />
It's now 2013 and I am blessed to have two happy, healthy, 15-month old boys and I'm pretty sure my baby making days are behind me, but only 99% sure. There is still a little "what if..." way in the back of my head. <br />
<br />
I found out some interesting information about freezing sperm, eggs and embryos. Here's what everyone should know...<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Sperm, to put it bluntly, is not valuable at all. We all knew this. I asked if there was anything that science could do with my frozen sperm and was told no. </li>
<li>Embryos can be discarded completely, donated to science for research, or donated to another person for him/her/them to use. In my particular circumstance I had agreed in my contract not to donate my embryos to other people.</li>
<li>If I choose to discard the embryos completely they are held for 60 days in case I change my mind. After 60 days they will be discarded.</li>
<li>If I choose to donate the embryos to science there are a lot of steps/parts. After signing a consent form the embryos will stay frozen until they match the needs of a research project. The woman I spoke with said she had been working at the lab for two years and has yet to have any embryos qualify for a project. If the embryos are picked for research I will be contacted and I will have to sign a second form agreeing that I want my embryos donated. But if, at that time, I decide not to donate my embryos to research, I can decide to reclaim my embryos and pay all the fees for storage in arrears. </li>
</ol>
I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through this process and has any thoughts on it. I don't want to be overly dramatic and say that this is the hardest decision of my life. It's not. But it's definitely a weighty decision. If you have a perspective on this let me know. You can share it in a comment or contact me directly at <a href="mailto:mikeybruce@aol.com">mikeybruce@aol.com</a>. Thanks.<br />
Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-41724300511922976602013-04-11T15:15:00.001-05:002013-04-11T15:15:58.582-05:00The BirthIs there anything baby/pregnancy/surrogacy related that doesn't make me cry? Apparently not. Although I was <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2012/09/im-fan.html" target="_blank">a fan</a> of the TV show <i>The New Normal</i> when it first came out I have to say that I'm liking it less and less as time goes on. The grandmother changed personalities in an episode and a half, Nene Leakes is an awful actress and one of the dads is so self-absorbed sometimes it's hard to like him. Nevertheless, I'm still going to keep watching because it's a story about a Jewish and non-Jewish pair of dads (one doctor and one in the entertainment field) who used a surrogate to have a son. You can't get too much closer to my life! <br />
<br />
Last week the surrogate gave birth! While the dads were in the middle of a crazy wedding ceremony the surrogate went into labor. (What a shock. No one has <i>ever</i> gone into labor in the middle of a wedding in a sit-com.)<br />
<br />
While the show may not win any Emmys, what it did do was bring back all those memories from a year ago. I still remember Chloe calling me with such a calm voice saying that the doctor was going to send her over to the hospital to be induced. I remember calling Derek 20 times (who was in a meeting without his phone or pager) as I scrambled around my home trying to figure out what the heck I needed to bring to the hospital. I remember wandering the hospital hallways trying to stay awake as the hours wore on. I remember Chloe being wheeled into the OR and Derek and I wondering how long it would be until we met our children and found out if they were boys or girls or one of each. I remember the nurse coming in and telling us our children were born. I remember the nurse handing me Aaron and a bottle of milk and me telling her I didn't know what I was doing. I remember seeing Chloe a half hour after birth wrapped up in warm blankets, shivering and wishing she was strong enough at that moment to hold the two beautiful babies she carried. I remember having to psych myself up to give Chloe her thank you present and card before we said goodbye to her in the hospital. And I remember crying as we said our goodbyes.<br />
<br />
Of course it wasn't a final goodbye. Chloe and I have kept in touch and she came to the kids' first birthday party. She even wore the necklace we got her as her thank you present.<br />
<br />
So although the show isn't amazing, watching the show this season helps me remember some wonderful memories: being matched with a surrogate, finding an egg donor, transferring embryos, going to ultrasounds and, of course, the birth of my kids. I hope the show continues on for another few years. It'll be interesting to see if the relationship between the dads and surrogate continues mimic my real life and my relationship with Chloe. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-41135257711833309662013-03-27T22:16:00.002-05:002013-03-27T22:16:31.925-05:00One Year LaterIt has been a year since the birth of my twins and and believe me that not a day goes by when I don't think of Chloe. (Luckily I get to see her from time to time too!) She has changed my life in a way that is indescribable. So, to show my appreciation, I "stole" this great picture from <a href="http://ababyor2foryou.blogspot.com/2013/02/calling-all-future-surrogates.html" target="_blank">Melissa</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8MkG6Etqb-eJyUEATXjkusytAIfd8u54B2XyWzw1HW9hBcc-DkPdJgfApOs9RZAOQYtlB5LYwiOeJmQh2KJsz-z-5UtFgUx4w0ZkmiUsm1Jel6b9oQuoolU4sGMpTijlOaxI0oG0Jq30/s1600/surro+onesie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8MkG6Etqb-eJyUEATXjkusytAIfd8u54B2XyWzw1HW9hBcc-DkPdJgfApOs9RZAOQYtlB5LYwiOeJmQh2KJsz-z-5UtFgUx4w0ZkmiUsm1Jel6b9oQuoolU4sGMpTijlOaxI0oG0Jq30/s1600/surro+onesie.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Thank you, Chloe, for touching my life in the most profound way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Here are a couple pictures to show what a difference a year makes. Enjoy the videos of their first cupcakes and all my current adventures at my <a href="http://www.michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/2013/03/year-one.html" target="_blank">fatherhood blog</a>. </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtwRFbkYk8fGMR-UDuj65onaKVS_Wa6l7wDo01viFdgvrE9a66mO1gEDoWLti6vVT8jazt6xHie3M5WdNfwvO84fjWdDeBTpzKU9PjR4mHaOQsvB-OwCtOUOGCZNol1Tv5haZuU25gucQ/s1600/Aaron+and+Jeff.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtwRFbkYk8fGMR-UDuj65onaKVS_Wa6l7wDo01viFdgvrE9a66mO1gEDoWLti6vVT8jazt6xHie3M5WdNfwvO84fjWdDeBTpzKU9PjR4mHaOQsvB-OwCtOUOGCZNol1Tv5haZuU25gucQ/s320/Aaron+and+Jeff.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aaron and Jeff the first moment I saw them</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisd73QNGWA3H-gnl1PYn1FLsO6HG-U5Np3aUWDgFSERcl01hQ09cM1PNRMfISkKxNFbYoewDCjA7bRoIVrKE8j37KUwixeuB_xHEnOmG_5jW2zK8zdzXrqdApH331mY_5mRurgdgMfrZ4/s1600/20130327_174600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisd73QNGWA3H-gnl1PYn1FLsO6HG-U5Np3aUWDgFSERcl01hQ09cM1PNRMfISkKxNFbYoewDCjA7bRoIVrKE8j37KUwixeuB_xHEnOmG_5jW2zK8zdzXrqdApH331mY_5mRurgdgMfrZ4/s320/20130327_174600.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aaron</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx-lzZ36VN4PQom_KOyMpdNeuVUAod5hyphenhyphenHuShezYUGbN1z9qS_FpXDagtEYl6R808F6ZsUBmh9URejgt6dKbwQr6FixfyJcGQrgZPQIPN5pP0g677JaLWB_CM1-ecR3LwJnK8E6O3whwo/s1600/20130327_174752.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx-lzZ36VN4PQom_KOyMpdNeuVUAod5hyphenhyphenHuShezYUGbN1z9qS_FpXDagtEYl6R808F6ZsUBmh9URejgt6dKbwQr6FixfyJcGQrgZPQIPN5pP0g677JaLWB_CM1-ecR3LwJnK8E6O3whwo/s320/20130327_174752.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jeff</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-21871058118184075652013-02-18T15:03:00.001-06:002013-02-18T15:03:42.063-06:00Stranger DangerMy kids are in full stranger danger mode. This past week or two we have had a lot of visitors. The kids clung to Derek or me, sometimes ventured out to the stranger for a few minutes, and then ran back to whatever daddy was closest. It's both exhausting and sweet. When my arms got tired of holding them I'd remind myself that this means they trust their daddies and have bonded with us.<br />
<br />
My parents just visited for a few days and the boys certainly were suspicious of them when they first arrived. Over the course of a few days they became much more comfortable with these new faces. When I left the apartment the boys were content to be with grandma and grandpa. If daddy was home, however, then grandma and grandpa became a very distant second and third place. Oddly enough my less adventurous boy, Jeff, did a little better with new faces than my, daredevil, Aaron who often didn't go more than a few feet away from me and would bawl if I went to get the laundry or go to the bathroom. <br />
<br />
This happened with friends, cousins and grandparents. Every stranger was a danger.<br />
<br />
However...<br />
<br />
Chloe recently came over for about an hour. She had some donations for my workplace and I had some old clothes for her new baby cousins. I was so happy to see her. She arrived just as the boys woke up from a nap. While eating, they were pretty cranky and suspicious of her...but right after waking up and before getting their milk they're always cranky and suspicious! <br />
<br />
After I got some food in their tummies, we went to play. After 10 minutes or so Jeff allowed Chloe to hold him. It's not like he immediately left me to be in her arms, but he was OK to be near her. Aaron was, as usual, more cautious and only crawled up to her but cried if she tried to get too close. Still, he was fascinated by her. I really wonder if there still is some connection to her. Maybe I'm just hoping there was a connection. Maybe they did recognize her voice. Maybe there is a familiar smell. Maybe there's a sixth sense that she was OK. We'll never know, but it made me happy to see Chloe with her surro-babies again.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-80331529144548489142013-02-04T11:22:00.002-06:002013-02-04T11:22:23.523-06:00The Special BookThere is a book that my friend got me. It's not just any friend, though. It's the Michaela in the "Michael & Michaela" story so that makes it extra special. And the book is called <i>Why I'm So Special: A Book About Surrogacy With Two Daddies</i>.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img class="rg_i" data-sz="f" name="l-3WEmslntK1CM:" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2dyZXxc2sTyYHxNWDHFkfaauG9qMgyM4gGhzLWqWqd52PlowH" style="margin-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" /></div>
<br />
Once you get past the 1970s mustache on the blonde daddy (and after you know the whole book was illustrated by a 9 year old it makes these childlike picture endearing) you get a sweet story that will help my children understand what it took to bring them into this world. The book starts with the daddies falling in love, getting married (by a white haired lady without a single wrinkle!), going to the doctor, meeting a surrogate, etc. You all know how this works.<br />
<br />
As I read the book I think back on all the steps that <i>I</i> took to make these beautiful children. My order was a little different. I met the agency, met the surrogate, met the man, fell in love, had the children, and plan to get married one of these days when we have time to plan a wedding. Oh, also there was nothing in my contract about a Paris trip and a dog. Apparently the dads in the story decide to bring their surrogate to Pairs and buy her a French poodle to celebrate her being their surrogate. (I hope the necklace Derek and I got our surrogate was satisfactory.)<br />
<br />
I have tried to read this book to my kids several times. I don't usually finish it. The real reason I don't finish it is because Aaron and Jeff tend to grab books after a few pages. They either close the books or try to rip the pages. Secretly I'm a little grateful. You see, every time I try to read this book I become emotional even after reading just a few pages. Thinking back on my whole experience and finally becoming a dad is a little overwhelming and wonderful. My emotions become a little more subdued as time goes on so one day I'm sure I'll be able to read the whole book. It's pretty cool to have a book that parallels my life. <br />
<br />
While searching on Amazon it turns out that there are a few children's books on surrogacy besides this one. Melissa at <a href="http://ababyor2foryou.blogspot.com/2012/05/gay-penguin-update.html" target="_blank">A Baby For You</a> wrote a great post about some great books with same sex parents. As the kids approach their first birthdays I thought about ordering some books as gifts. Then again, maybe ordering something that makes me cry on an already emotional day isn't a great idea. I might just have to buy something silly and fun like the present my brother gave us at the baby shower a year ago...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZbhPH2iy1woUTraBnthRKEk7DIXTPkzmxywfrbnqZBH11QEhHrqwOvxPTVbngO2WyQejgO0-4DmpQPj_VEucJunJ4H7kGVtGDMfUbD654GmBSGD9qoMmVbZ4K01VML7whn6Tdid0KRoo/s1600/20130115_173818.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZbhPH2iy1woUTraBnthRKEk7DIXTPkzmxywfrbnqZBH11QEhHrqwOvxPTVbngO2WyQejgO0-4DmpQPj_VEucJunJ4H7kGVtGDMfUbD654GmBSGD9qoMmVbZ4K01VML7whn6Tdid0KRoo/s320/20130115_173818.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8ZsTCubdkY5O74-ZTtrk_KmIe7W-N20JIBah5AXvKjO458VerXgAsjvN3105ywB3k6IHYXyK7BoxBNhCoHMbyUKKfu_pd0kaW8BlaN-Ptmp23yzYIvhV4N5VSrj-crHA26WpvIIcMeD8/s1600/20130115_091452.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8ZsTCubdkY5O74-ZTtrk_KmIe7W-N20JIBah5AXvKjO458VerXgAsjvN3105ywB3k6IHYXyK7BoxBNhCoHMbyUKKfu_pd0kaW8BlaN-Ptmp23yzYIvhV4N5VSrj-crHA26WpvIIcMeD8/s320/20130115_091452.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Anyone have other ideas for first birthday gifts? (And yes, I know...paper and boxes are best for one year old birthday gifts! I want to give them something besides those things, too.)<br />
Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-5752934218623776172013-01-30T16:01:00.003-06:002013-01-30T16:01:54.266-06:00More Closed DoorsI recently saw these articles posted on another blog and I wanted to share them. They just make me sad and angry. Basically, what the articles say, is that surrogacy in India will be limited to couples who are legally married and live in a place that recognizes surrogacy.<br />
<br />
That means single men and women, gays, and people from a slew of countries (such as France, Germany and Norway among others) will be excluded. <br />
<br />
I live in a city that is fairly liberal. I work in two professions one of which is fairly open minded and the other of which is extremely open minded. I have written posts on my blogs about how pleasantly surprised I have been with the fact that people look at me as just another family even though my family has two dads. I really don't experience a lot of discrimination on a day to day basis. My friends, family, co-workers, parents in the baby music classes, etc. are all open and accepting. I sometimes forget that the world is not so friendly. Sometimes the strides that are made only apply to a select few. <br />
<br />
I hope that these policies change quickly. I have faithfully followed a lot of bloggers who are single, gay, and/or from countries who have been successful in India. It makes me sad to know that others like them will not be so lucky because they waited an extra few months or a year. <br />
<br />
Here are the articles so you can read them yourself.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-01-18/india/36415052_1_surrogacy-fertility-clinics-home-ministry">http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-01-18/india/36415052_1_surrogacy-fertility-clinics-home-ministry</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-01-15/india-surrogacy-arrangements/4465198">http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-01-15/india-surrogacy-arrangements/4465198</a>Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-87400357755234294462012-12-12T16:10:00.000-06:002012-12-12T16:10:38.509-06:00Success - Part TwoWoo-hoo! I feel successful again. This time I don't have my blog to thank, but my agency. My agency recently contacted me and mentioned that there is a couple in another state considering surrogacy. The process is overwhelming and they wanted to talk with someone who has been through the experience. They asked if I would be willing to talk with them.<br />
<br />
um...let me think about tha--<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>YES!!!</strong></span><br />
<br />
I'm thrilled to be able to share my experience with other people. I'm a little jealous of surrogates who get to "mentor" other surrogates and find surro sisters. Can I now dub myself an Internded Parent Mentor or a Agency Big Brother? C'mon, people, I need a cool name for myself. <br />
<br />
This couple read my blog as well as several other blogs I'm connected with and they mentioned that the blogs have been extremely helpful as they try to fully understand what they might go through. So, on their behalf, and as my first official duty as a Dad-To-Be-Advistor (I'll keep working on the name) I will thank of you bloggers for helping to make a difference in at least one couple's lives.<br />
<br />Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-40481640557316558192012-10-26T12:21:00.003-05:002012-10-26T12:21:57.309-05:00Closing The AccountEvery month I get a statement from the accountant managing the escrow money telling me how much money is left in the account. I get charged $12 a month as a maintenance fee. I have sent the accountant several emails asking if I can close out the account and save my money because she isn't doing anything. After all, twelve dollars will buy enough diapers for about three hours with twins or a bottle and a half worth of formula (those supplies are expensive!). The boys are almost seven months old and I believe, according to our contract, any costs related to the pregnancy (like lost wages or counseling if necessary) would stop twelve weeks after the birth. <br />
<br />
A few days ago I finally got an email from the surrogacy agency telling me that I can officially close out my escrow account. The accountant was CC'd and I wrote a follow up email to her and I have yet to hear back from her. <br />
<br />
This posting, however, is not about my bad escrow accountant. It's about the fact that once the escrow account closes I believe I will be 100% done with the surrogacy contract and the process. Chloe and I have kept in touch. We plan to keep in touch. I hope the kids get to know her. However it's a little sad and scary and odd to think about this whole ordeal...over two and a half years...coming to an end. There will be no more legal ties to each other.<br />
<br />
<em>(I wrote the entry above on Wednesday. The paragraph below is from today.)</em><br />
<br />
Of course, right after I think about my formal relationship with Chloe coming to an end I go home and watch my Tivo'd episode of <em>The New Normal. </em>Of course this week's episode deals with the young daughter getting upset after hearing that most surrogates and intended parents don't keep in touch after the baby/babies are born. The surrogate in the show understands the reality of this but I was just as upset as the child on the show. <br />
<br />
"No," I wanted to shout back. "We <em>DO</em> want to keep in touch with our surrogates." <br />
<br />
Because this is a Hollywood sitcom and no one wants to see a little girl cry, the intended parents made the girl a godmother to their unborn child so they would be bonded forever and everyone lived happily ever after.<br />
<br />
That's how I hope my life will be - like a sticom. My life is shaping up to look like one. The show does parallel my life quite a bit and, I have a hottie husband-to-be, and like the Jewish character, I had no idea what a godparent really does. (Luckily the show explained it to me.) Hopefully my life will continue to look like the show where is always laughter, and a happy ending. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-16804172879372435962012-10-04T08:09:00.000-05:002012-10-04T08:09:00.482-05:00Success!I have a Facebook friend. It's one of those people I knew years and years ago, lost touch with her, reconnected with her on Facebook, caught up with each other, and now don't communicate much but we know the other is there if need be. Well, "need be" happened.<br />
<br />
This friend of mine recently sent me an email saying that she loves being pregnant but isn't sure she wants more kids. Surrogacy is something she would consider. She asked me a little bit about my surrogacy journey. <br />
<br />
I have to say I was thrilled she was considering this and honored she would share it with me. It made my blog feel like a success. One of the reasons I started this blog was to be a resource to others who are considering surrogacy. I have shared a lot of personal details about my life and my story with friends and strangers who follow this blog and my <a href="http://www.michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Fatherhood blog</a>. Sometimes I feel I have shared too much...but then something like this happens and I'm glad I could be a resource for a friend who may now make some person or couple's dream come true. I referred her to a surrogate who I met online who was willing to talk to her and, it turns out, doesn't live too far from my friend. It just proves how our online community is there for each other and how valuable and powerful information can be.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-26001306853356176662012-09-12T22:47:00.000-05:002012-09-12T22:47:44.406-05:00I'm A Fan<i>The New Normal</i> has had two episodes now and I love it. I think it's hysterical. I know some people think the show is only so-so but I love snarky, biting humor and I think there's a lot of it in the show's dialogue. My friend noticed that there is no mention of contract negotiations, lawyers, doctors screening the surrogate and sperm donor, psychological evaluations, injecting medicines for weeks, etc. Since when has Hollywood ever cared about accuracy??? <br />
<br />
Years ago I interpreted a sociology class that talked about the media's influence on society. The professor talked about the portrayal of minority groups on TV and in films. She said at first African Americans were only portrayed as slaves. Then they won roles as janitors. Later they took on roles as mail carriers, doctors and finally presidents. Asian-American actors were only karate experts and masseuses. Over time they became nurses, best friends and a Charlie's Angel. Gays started out as hair dressers and florists but moved up to doctors and lawyers. Her point was that first exposures to new groups are threatening to the majority and often they need to be shown as people without power. While surrogates are not a threat to most people (although the NBC affiliate in Salt Lake City feels they are and refuses to air the show), we get a very one-sided, silly view of the surrogacy process to start. Surrogates are new to TV...and let's not forget it's a sitcom too so we can't get too deep. <br />
<br />
Before I analyze this too much (too late) let's just celebrate the fact that there is a show on a major network talking about a surrogate working with a gay couple. That's huge exposure and will hopefully give more people some insight into the wondeful, unique and powerful relationships that are created between surrogates and intended parents.<br />
<br />
Oh...and I cried during both episodes. No surprise there. I was thinking back to when I was just getting started with my surrogate. All the hopes, fears, nerves, joy and other emotions that I felt knowing that steps were happening to make my dream come true came flooding back. I hope the show lasts a while so I can take this journey with these people.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-13655708431420021972012-08-24T13:14:00.002-05:002012-08-24T13:14:37.291-05:00Five Month ReunionDerek and I have been trying to find time for Chloe to come see the boys again. Between my weekend work schedule and out of towners coming to visit we had to plan a day several weeks in advance. It finally worked out this past weekend. I had emailed Chloe to say that she could bring her mom or anyone else she wanted to bring. She responded by saying she was bringing four other people so it turned into a whole party.<br />
<br />
Chloe's mom was able to join us and see the babies for the first time since the hospital. It was nice to see her again. I had mentioned in some previous postings how wonderful it was that she was so excited about everything going on during the pregnancy - her daughter doing something amazing, meeting the twins, Derek and I becoming dads, etc. She really loved getting to see the boys and enjoyed playing with them. Chloe also brought her son. I was wondering if he would be into the babies or understand the magnitude of what his mom did. He's 7 years old and was more interested in movies and video games than talking with the adults so I didn't get to talk with him too much. Chloe also brought the guy she is dating and his son. Derek and I had wondered what happened to him. We met him one time at the fertility clinic right after she became pregnant and then never saw him again. I would imagine starting a relationship when you are pregnant with a stranger and his partner's twins is very difficult. So after the pregnancy was done they did get together. I'm thrilled for her. He was very nice and I enjoyed seeing him and getting to know him a little more.<br />
<br />
The other fantastic news is that Chloe is starting graduate school! I am very excited for her. Way back when we met, Chloe had wanted to become a doctor. It never worked out and I kept hoping that she would find another career path. She has had a decent job but I knew it wasn't her dream. It took a few years longer than she probably hoped, but I'm happy to announce that she will be working in the medical field in a couple years if all goes well. The fun fact to add is that Chloe will be going to school where Derek teaches! Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-49081618444886460932012-08-08T17:01:00.002-05:002012-08-08T17:01:48.848-05:00FamilyLast year for Christmas I was trying to figure out what to give Derek. I found a picture frame that says "FAMILY" and has room for ten pictures around the word. I thought this would be a great gift. Even if we can't legally be a family (I'll save my rant on the gay marriage issue for another day) we will see proof in our home that we are, truly, a family.<br />
<br />
We had a bunch of pictures in the frame and we recently swapped out a few for better pictures. Our families don't live locally and we're trying to make sure we have plenty of pictures of them around so the kids know their grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins. I saw we had a great picture of "Chloe" with the twins and after just a half a second of contemplation I put her picture in our family frame.<br />
<br />
Chloe is a part of our family now. As our children get older and the bond between us grows and my love for them increases I become more and more grateful to Chloe. I still feel like I haven't been able to thank her enough. I'll probably never feel like I have shown her enough gratitude. I like having her picture where I can see it every day to remind me that I owe my family, to a large degree, to her.<br />
<br />
At a time when Derek and I have to choose to be each others' family without legal rights, we choose to have Chloe be a part of our family too. She (and a lot of her family) plan to visit us soon. I get more and more excited counting down the days. The relationship we have is unique. It's strong even if we don't see each other. It's intimate on a level that outsiders don't understand. It's a relationship that will last for the rest of our lives even if we lose touch. Yep...just like a family.<br />Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-38205011159852985102012-08-01T17:04:00.001-05:002013-04-05T07:52:15.809-05:00The New NormalI started this entry a while ago and forgot to publish it probably due to my forgetful baby brain. Here it is...<br />
<br />
I love Tivo. I'm a little bit of a TV addict. I'm also a sign language interpreter. So when sign language is on TV I get really excited. It's great when a language and a culture that is often misunderstood gets some exposure to the general public and can educate people. I put "deaf" as a keyword into Tivo and it records anything that has that word in the program description. It's interesting to see what we get. Tivo has recorded news stories about deaf individuals, documentaries about deaf poets, shows from the 1950s, '60s, and '70s that show how deaf people were treated at the time (as people who couldn't make decisions for themselves -- eek! or a suspect of a crime who was arrested and interrogated by police without an interpreter -- double eek!!) and even a great cartoon that showed how a deaf child uses an interpreter in school (my kids are definitely going to watch <i>Maya and Miguel</i>.) I couldn't find the episode online but click <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/25/arts/television/25sign.html" target="_blank">here</a> for an article about the show.<br />
<br />
But back to the topic we ALL love: surrogacy. I recently fell asleep on the couch and woke up to an episode of <i>American Dad</i> which was about the wife agreeing to be a surrogate for a gay couple who lives next door. I don't usually watch that show, but I have to admit it was pretty funny. Surrogacy has made its way into cartoons.<br />
<br />
The other piece of exciting news is there will be new sitcom about a woman who is a surrogate for a gay couple. Watch the trailer for <a href="http://www.momatlast.com/surrogacy/nbcs-gay-surrogacy-sitcom-the-new-normal-coming-soon/" target="_blank">The New Normal</a> and you're guaranteed to laugh and cry.<br />
<br />
I think I need my Tivo to start searching for the keyword "surrogate" since stories about surrogacy are popping up everywhere. Who knows what I'll get to see, but I bet it will be interesting. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-63690698989962352542012-07-25T12:58:00.000-05:002012-07-25T12:58:04.063-05:00What A Difference A Year MakesCan you believe what was happening a year ago? Derek and I were in the doctor's office with Chloe deciding how many embryos to transfer. We were even considering transfering three. Three???? Was I crazy? I <em>love</em> having two children. I can't imagine my life without my two little men now. I also can't imagine having triplets. <br />
<br />
A year ago we started praying...even though we're not very religious. We ate sticky foods hoping that would make the embryos stick. We even ate <em>Life</em> cereal. I was willing to try anything after two failed attempts. <br />
<br />
A few weeks later the amazing news came that my surrogate was pregnant with twins. I still was scared things wouldn't work. We did a total of three beta tests and every time I was panicked that the numbers wouldn't be what I wanted -- but they were. Then we had the fear of the first trimester, fear during the ultrasounds making sure the babies were growing fine, and the fear of making it to viability. Then the day of the birth came which was filled with both excitement and anxiety hoping both my children and Chloe would be OK. <br />
<br />
In the past year I also got to have a wonderful baby shower and an amazing outpouring of help and love from friends and family. I got to make four people grandparents (and two of them became grandparents for the first time), my brother became an uncle (for the first time) and my sister-in-law and brother-in-law became an aunt and uncle. Their children were excited to hear news of their cousins. My sister-in-law explained to her older child how two uncles would make cousins for him and, after hearing how this works, he excitedly called to his little brother, "Did you hear? We're going to have new cousins!!! They took an egg and put fertilizer on it!" <br />
<br />
This past year I also got to celebrate (through the web) the birth of so many children through surrogacy. I hope this year brings even more good news for those of you out there still trying.<br />
<br />
These past twelve months have, of course, been life changing. This picture below shows the reason I am broke, sleep-deprived, getting gray hair and yet 100% happy, fulfilled and thrilled with my life. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV4iS_FRIV4wfKeVGmn1T1oxav2M8CfpwUTbZ1VRx8qqsllTpfJAZe6t4jDDjC-druuqmlza0nlZ2oTG8WrsvHBigIo486ziSKfj9trRg2vVRSwEMZC4BpXVXf5RdSIOM5CFuUq5imGNI/s1600/20120724_144901.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV4iS_FRIV4wfKeVGmn1T1oxav2M8CfpwUTbZ1VRx8qqsllTpfJAZe6t4jDDjC-druuqmlza0nlZ2oTG8WrsvHBigIo486ziSKfj9trRg2vVRSwEMZC4BpXVXf5RdSIOM5CFuUq5imGNI/s320/20120724_144901.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-17586453903906362162012-05-16T01:10:00.002-05:002012-05-16T01:10:50.404-05:00Staying In TouchI'm thrilled to see so many of my blogger friends having babies. I feel like there is an explosion of births and/or pregnancies. A lot of you are in your last few months -- or weeks -- or DAYS -- of pregnancy and I'm eagerly awaiting the pictures of your little ones. All of us bloggers know how hard this journey can be and the sacrifices we make. <br />
<br />
I also had the pleasure of seeing my "Michaela" a couple weeks ago. She was flying to the midwest to pick up a huge award she won (I think it was something like "top emerging new leader" in her field. I might be slightly off but I know it was a huge deal and she deserves it 'cuz she's Michaela and she's awesome!). She was able to stop in Chicago for about 8 hours. She and I hadn't seen each other in person for about 10 or 11 years. Seriously. It had been a long time. We became Facebook friends a few years ago and of course bonded so strongly over the last two years going through surrogacy together. I can tell you that 8 hours isn't enough to cover everything. I also just got a Facebook friend request from a blogger I have been following for a year or so. I'm a little star-struck by him and his postings because they are touching and make me cry. (You can reveal yourself if you want but I won't in case you want to preserve your anonymity for fear of being mobbed like a Hollywood A-lister.) I've seen how bloggers fly across the country to meet people they only know online and I'm starting to think I understand that. We have been through something so special and it's a kinda weird kinda wonderful connection we all have.<br />
<br />
So I'm hoping that more of you will join my fatherhood blog so we can stay in touch. And if my asking isn't enough, then maybe these pictures will convince you to follow <a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Michael's Fatherhood Experience</a>. Who wouldn't want to see these cute boys grow up and hear about our adventures? Derek and I bought one of those picture frames with 12 slots so you can see their growth over a year. How cute was April's photo shoot? Don't you want to see what we do for May?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5lSG-WOCCLuFaiIiMqC49vGY1YyEz71eup_6XjPLu-vVMbvEcdF7x73d9hgHTs4Dd_iMho8IUVmCZNyEfJ1PQpuFeWF3wdb_mqhazmPlgOW9AmZ1gf-hAjHzZoz1fFAfG3WJIkqooky8/s1600/IMG_0995.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5lSG-WOCCLuFaiIiMqC49vGY1YyEz71eup_6XjPLu-vVMbvEcdF7x73d9hgHTs4Dd_iMho8IUVmCZNyEfJ1PQpuFeWF3wdb_mqhazmPlgOW9AmZ1gf-hAjHzZoz1fFAfG3WJIkqooky8/s320/IMG_0995.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkX0GhFQKF1pKshTEbd9hdeMBZUkpCAL6iKKTL7_41RpLnsvTqURXxU-hP7fwE1QiJvmg7LS8ncwrlxiblwKbuOrUjfVIdrHmuXYXfOa1sobWTuW1ioyhuTvHbjghltxEm5jCNg3JDZX4/s1600/IMG_0997.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkX0GhFQKF1pKshTEbd9hdeMBZUkpCAL6iKKTL7_41RpLnsvTqURXxU-hP7fwE1QiJvmg7LS8ncwrlxiblwKbuOrUjfVIdrHmuXYXfOa1sobWTuW1ioyhuTvHbjghltxEm5jCNg3JDZX4/s320/IMG_0997.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-22295015790100884762012-04-23T19:50:00.000-05:002012-08-06T22:53:54.288-05:00The GoodbyeAs you all know by now my twins were born in the wee small hours of the morning of March 27th. Chloe did an amazing job of helping them grow big enough to not have to stay in the NICU. We were all discharged a couple days later. We did, however, have about two and a half days in the hospital together and I wanted to write a little bit about that.<br />
<br />
When Derek and I talked with the staff at the hospital as Chloe was going into labor a few times they asked us directly or indirectly about whether or not we wanted to see Chloe or be on the same floor with her after the delivery. The first time I heard the question I was a little taken aback. Of course we wanted to be near her! Then I remembered that not everyone has a great experience with their surrogate. Some surrogate/IP relationships are all business and after the babies are born there is no more contact. For me, that wasn't going to work, but I respect that situation may be the right choice for others. So every time we were asked a question about our situation after the delivery I strongly answered that we wanted Chloe to see the babies and hold them and be near us.<br />
<br />
The first time she got to see the twins was about half an hour after the delivery. After the twins were born Derek and I were ushered into a room to meet them as the hospital staff continued to assess them. At one point we were told that Chloe was in the room next door. I looked over and saw what looked to be a sliding door. <br />
<br />
"You mean she's there?" I asked, pointing towards the door. "Can we open up the door now?"<br />
<br />
The staff obliged after knowing we were OK with that arrangement. I have to give the staff credit for respecting our wishes and the wishes of other IPs. <br />
<br />
Soon after that Chloe went to a recovery room and I think it was about 12 hours later she came to our makeshift room where Derek and I got to stay so she could officially meet and hold the twins. I loved seeing them together. Of course we took pictures and talked and I probably cried a few times. You all know that's what I do. <br />
<br />
Since Chloe was in the room right next door we would visit with her once or twice a day. The night before we were discharged I felt so overwhelmed trying to figure out what we could say before our final goodbye. We knew it wasn't a "we'll never see you again" but it was the end of our contract and now we'd have to navigate our relationship post-pregnancy.<br />
<br />
We had a card and a gift for Chloe and after hours of trying to figure out just how to say thank you I gave up and wrote a message that would just have to suffice because nothing can really thank a surrogate enough. I wanted to post a picture of the card and gift. I bought the card because I thought it was pretty and because the two little pearls reminded me of our two sweet embryos. The necklace is a fire opal that Derek and I found during our Mexico trip. I thought it was special since I had never seen that stone before and it was striking so we thought it would make a nice gift.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi55DhPjpJo3VpGPuiyMv79yfTwz_5VEMzUA-hbUdBazrH3IvJzffFRpMiwZyiD2MS2DVswzNXhfMReL6UNIwqYsIPd9mdQ_8xy6qUrRp5dO8NP-y-cRxU-QGLG7f24O2GPu2WUaISPiLY/s1600/Thank+you+gift.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi55DhPjpJo3VpGPuiyMv79yfTwz_5VEMzUA-hbUdBazrH3IvJzffFRpMiwZyiD2MS2DVswzNXhfMReL6UNIwqYsIPd9mdQ_8xy6qUrRp5dO8NP-y-cRxU-QGLG7f24O2GPu2WUaISPiLY/s320/Thank+you+gift.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It was hard to say that goodbye. So far, almost a month after delivery, we have shared pictures and seen Chloe once with the twins. I hope we continue to be in contact and it'll be by choice, not by legal obligation. Still, that final night in the hospital and then the actual final goodbye the next day when she was discharged was hard.<br />
<br />
I hope Chloe will be able to see the twins are OK through my <a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">fatherhood blog</a>. Speaking of which, if you're not following it, you should. My pregnancy journey was fascinating, but my fatherhood stories will be out of this world...if I'm ever awake enough to write them. Raising twins is tiring!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-23694523746702655932012-04-17T23:27:00.000-05:002012-04-17T23:27:37.019-05:00The First Nine MonthsI recently saw a surrogate write a blog entry talking about how great the kids were who she gave birth to and she was so modest she said that she couldn't really take credit for their greatness. Well, I have to disagree. She did more than she knew.<br />
<br />
Two summers ago, as I was getting ready for the first transfer, my Time magazine arrived in my mailbox with a pregnant woman on the cover and the words <i>"How the first nine months shape the rest of your life"</i> (or something like that). <br />
<br />
"Don't read it," Derek said. <br />
<br />
He knows I worry a lot.<br />
<br />
"I have to read it," I said.<br />
<br />
I did.<br />
<br />
And then I worried. <br />
<br />
You see, I was so concerned on finding the right egg donor because I wanted the right DNA for my children. I looked for certain qualities thinking that my surrogate would just magically make kids with all those qualities because they were in the egg. But this article made me realize that my surrogate had a ton of influence as to who my kids will be. And after getting to know Chloe over almost two years I have to say I am glad I chose her. I think she made some amazing children. <br />
<br />
The article is kind of lengthy, but please read it. Here is a link to <a href="http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2021065,00.html" target="_blank">Fetal Origins: How the First Nine Months Shape the Rest of Your Life</a>Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-89495788104159796772012-04-09T10:38:00.000-05:002012-04-09T10:38:42.139-05:00The Next Chapter - FatherhoodI have been debating if I was going to continue blogging after the twins were born. When I started blogging I was sure I would <i>not </i>continue. I thought my blog would be for my children to know what I went through to have them and to help others in the same position as me gain support for their journeys. Once the children arrived I thought I wouldn't see a need to continue my writing. However, that has changed.<br />
<br />
Blogging has allowed me to do the following...<br />
<br />
1. Document my desire to have my children so my children know their story like I had hoped.<br />
<br />
2. Document my story so I remember the strength I had to take this journey and the support I got from family and friends. .<br />
<br />
3. Allow my friends and family to share my joys with me.<br />
<br />
4. Learn from other bloggers and read some amazing stories.<br />
<br />
5. Make some (virtual) friends as I follow their blogs and connect with others in the same situation.<br />
<br />
6. Enjoy some creative writing.<br />
<br />
Several of you have posted comments asking me to continue blogging. You have no idea how good that makes me feel. We all want to feel our lives have value and it's touching to know that many of you -- who haven't even met me -- care about my life, my children's lives, and our stories.<br />
<br />
Although I have a few more posts left regarding surrogacy, this blog will probably come to a close soon. However, I do plan to continue writing on new blog. This will be a blog about fatherhood. I hope that this blog will serve as a record to my children, help me connect with my family and friends (near, far and virtual) and allow Chloe to follow the lives of the children she helped to bring into this world.<br />
<br />
The new blog is<br />
<br />
<a href="http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/"><b>http://michaelsfatherhoodexperience.blogspot.com/</b></a><br />
<br />
I'm hoping you all will be willing to join this blog too. I feel I have connected with so many of you in the surrogacy/IP world and I will continue reading your stories because they bring me such joy. Hopefully my stories will bring you joy as well.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-56936933209627597262012-04-03T18:52:00.000-05:002012-08-06T22:57:38.285-05:00The Thank You EntryI'm sure there are so many people I'm going to forget to thank. This is like an Oscar speech and everyone looks back and thinks, "Oh...I should have thanked so-and-so. I can't believe I forgot him/her." So, If I have forgotten you, please don't take it personally. Just look again and know that you are in included in "everyone else." ;-)<br />
<br />
Thank you to...<br />
<br />
My surrogacy agency<br />
<br />
The fertility doctor who gave me some definitive advice when I needed it <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2010/12/just-little-dab-of-super-glue.html" target="_blank">(Just a Little Dab of Super Glue)</a><br />
<br />
Egg donation agency #1 who guided me through the process the first time when I didn't know what I was doing and egg donor #1 <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-put-all-my-eggs-in-one-basketand-then.html" target="_blank">(I Put All My Eggs In One Basket...)</a><br />
<br />
Egg donation agency #2 and egg donor #2 <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/01/back-to-square-two.html" target="_blank">(Back to Square Two)</a><br />
<br />
Egg donation agency #3 (same as my surrogacy agency) and egg donor #3 <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/07/i-should-go-to-vegas.html" target="_blank">(I Should Go To Vegas)</a><br />
<br />
My lawyer who was awesome and treated me as a person going through an emotional journey and not just a client<br />
<br />
Anne who talked me down during my panic attacks when this process was overwhelming<br />
<br />
Kristine S. who I had only spoken to on Facebook for the last 20 years and told me to call her immediately when I was going through a rough patch and proved she is a true friend <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2010/03/she-likes-meshe-really-likes-me.html" target="_blank">(She Likes Me...She Really Likes Me)</a><br />
<br />
The elderly nurse who gave me a funny blog entry when I had to make my donation <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2010/04/warning-adult-content.html" target="_blank">(Warning: Adult Content)</a><br />
<br />
My former neighbor and the cashier at Babies R Us who made me realize that being gay parents won't get me weird looks because the world is accepting us more and more <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/03/gay-parents-in-2011.html" target="_blank">(Gay Parents in 2011)</a><br />
<br />
Dr. L. and Barbara (my doctor friends) who answered my questions every time I bugged them<br />
<br />
Arika, Amy, Kim, Joel, Carlyn, and Paula for parenting advice (and others who I'm sure I'm missing)<br />
<br />
Meghan who became my twin expert<br />
<br />
Christian and Kristine for helping navigate the baby registry and for recommending a good obgyn <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2012/01/thank-goodness-for-mark-zuckerberg.html" target="_blank">(Thank Goodness For Mark Zuckerberg)</a><br />
<br />
Kirsten and Marty for making the baby registry day more fun and for their support <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/12/different-kind-of-wish.html" target="_blank">(A Different Kind of Wish)</a><br />
<br />
My interpreting community who was so excited for me and loved to look at ultrasound pictures <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/12/wee-wee-or-hoo-ha-appointment.html" target="_blank">(The Wee-Wee Or Hoo-Ha Appointment)</a><br />
<br />
Tonya who was my first "friend" in the blogosphere universe and helped me realize I wasn't going through this alone <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2012/02/baby-shower-1.html" target="_blank">(Babydreams2011)</a><br />
<br />
All the bloggers who have become my e-family now and have given me inspiration, laughs and support <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-online-family.html" target="_blank">(My Online Family)</a><br />
<br />
Abby A. and Sheila for their beautiful baby gifts that were given to me before Derek and I had babies coming <a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2010/06/im-at-loss-for-words.html" target="_blank">(I'm At a Loss For Words)</a><span id="goog_1973068535"></span><span id="goog_1973068536"></span><br />
<br />
My Mexican dinner friends (Abby, Bethany, Jeff and Paula) who had dinner with Derek and me after the successful transfer and a special thanks to Bethany for wearing her "pregnancy dress" for good luck<br />
<br />
Everyone who helped to organize the two baby showers and everyone who attended and helped us get the things we needed to take care of the babies <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2012/02/baby-shower-1.html" target="_blank">(Baby Shower #1)</a><br />
<br />
My 4 (yep...FOUR) friends who were serious about being my egg donor. Your faith in me being a dad and friendship means so much. <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-put-all-my-eggs-in-one-basketand-then.html" target="_blank">(I Put All My Eggs In One Basket...And Then the Basket Broke)</a><br />
<br />
Neil Patrick Harris even though he still hasn't commented on my blog. I'm hoping he really does follow the blog and will post something one day. <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2010/08/im-next-neil-patrick-harris.html" target="_blank">(I'm The Next Neil Patrick Harris)</a><br />
<br />
Tiffany (a.k.a. Michaela) who provided amazing support while went through surrogacy together and came up with some great song ideas for our musical <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-friend-michaela.html" target="_blank">(My Friend Michaela)</a><br />
<br />
My family <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2012/01/grandmothers-to-be.html" target="_blank">(The Grandmothers To Be)</a><br />
<br />
Derek <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-better-half.html" target="_blank">(My Better Half)</a><br />
<br />
Everyone else who provided support to me<br />
<br />
And of course Chloe who stuck with me through all the ups and downs and gave me two beautiful children <a href="http://michaelssurrogateexperience.blogspot.com/2011/10/nicest-email.html" target="_blank">(The Nicest Email)</a><br />
<br />
I love looking back at this journey as it nears its completion. As you can see, these babies have had so much love and support since before they were even embryos. This journey has been incredible. It has been an experience like no other and very few people get to go through the extreme heartache and celebration that comes with something like this. I hope that those of you going through this process have the same success I did. I know how strong the feelings are to become a parent and I feel so fortunate to make my dreams come true and I want the same for everyone else with that passion. I also have to thank egg donors and surrogates for what they do. Some of the blogs I have seen have a picture that says, "I make families. What's your special power?" There are very few powers that can compete with what these women do for people like me. So thank you and know that not a day will go by that we don't thank you for your help.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-22815615966076840462012-04-01T21:53:00.000-05:002012-04-01T21:53:12.589-05:00Pictures!They're finally here. You all get to see pictures -- and a couple of videos -- of the cutest babies on earth. They are, in fact, the cutest babies on earth as judged by Derek and me. And I swear we were completely unbiased judges. ;-)<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm7Zy8w7w4oVs8bT6xnPzRcX-AwwJW2hwtppbxOM3d1Vnopw5mWMFC06npT6mRkO242cytobEY_mR1_eZZQpey_mCF97qfjPIEZhAvh44Ni65CEC7JseBL_dfRuiPC2VpNVyO5uJ-2bao/s1600/Aaron+and+Jeff.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm7Zy8w7w4oVs8bT6xnPzRcX-AwwJW2hwtppbxOM3d1Vnopw5mWMFC06npT6mRkO242cytobEY_mR1_eZZQpey_mCF97qfjPIEZhAvh44Ni65CEC7JseBL_dfRuiPC2VpNVyO5uJ-2bao/s320/Aaron+and+Jeff.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aaron and Jeff's first picture</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFXo2Yd7Z2bv5ICzrtv-sqagALcPuO2EUPfLzdT3ycn9Er5ZtkUoR35yWG2HJEGGG44kTAyzrKbHoz0_PSwhurwWLycO8F-096GrXf9X27M8kgR2Ea-Un26trO2boFcC_yZK9kLBjanBU/s1600/Michael+with+sleepy+babies.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFXo2Yd7Z2bv5ICzrtv-sqagALcPuO2EUPfLzdT3ycn9Er5ZtkUoR35yWG2HJEGGG44kTAyzrKbHoz0_PSwhurwWLycO8F-096GrXf9X27M8kgR2Ea-Un26trO2boFcC_yZK9kLBjanBU/s320/Michael+with+sleepy+babies.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me with the twins</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-4_2PH5mz4SloMOkF3pE4KswjLTTYVIHWGG8YPdM2E-hdfIWoR1fw2BDqvXbC8rMnTbsSJvm4dwHrXcPYhVzUHNlO0_hJx1JnFYp427DjGF3odmZMjTpE_l96UbyYx2UsgxGJv1YYjb0/s1600/side+by+side+in+the+hospital.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-4_2PH5mz4SloMOkF3pE4KswjLTTYVIHWGG8YPdM2E-hdfIWoR1fw2BDqvXbC8rMnTbsSJvm4dwHrXcPYhVzUHNlO0_hJx1JnFYp427DjGF3odmZMjTpE_l96UbyYx2UsgxGJv1YYjb0/s320/side+by+side+in+the+hospital.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jeff and Aaron wearing the hats the surrogate made</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihT5j1W5DDy3kHtxOIkX4DhIq2psgjVdAe-qW1NYRudW66HtXTKNoZxzsBtGKAKy_AmI40lH5arnC5tnKi3EMrv_WiBVgE6cEwH8USYSD62vFEhyphenhyphenNJLFLul6OzhrDVK3iq-m0t7BUunV4/s1600/The+first+picture+-+Michael+with+Jeff+and+Derek+with+Aaron.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihT5j1W5DDy3kHtxOIkX4DhIq2psgjVdAe-qW1NYRudW66HtXTKNoZxzsBtGKAKy_AmI40lH5arnC5tnKi3EMrv_WiBVgE6cEwH8USYSD62vFEhyphenhyphenNJLFLul6OzhrDVK3iq-m0t7BUunV4/s320/The+first+picture+-+Michael+with+Jeff+and+Derek+with+Aaron.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first family portrait</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmcKVWRiMvxXY5SOG_5KwoxCaS9VaPQixH4gbFlNbljEUj6XvxlDT7W149388doInkj0kwU8aLjWSIDL7GvNwIRcuCI3tRZNb3KiNeVM9h7PHrk3yxfbaG1JCNbZk4RX1eBghMU9El8_E/s1600/Aaron+close+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmcKVWRiMvxXY5SOG_5KwoxCaS9VaPQixH4gbFlNbljEUj6XvxlDT7W149388doInkj0kwU8aLjWSIDL7GvNwIRcuCI3tRZNb3KiNeVM9h7PHrk3yxfbaG1JCNbZk4RX1eBghMU9El8_E/s320/Aaron+close+up.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sleeping Aaron</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7O-bhq43t0y6o3p8pUsoQvr97CQE5rJxMncRWWWgcLwahvqyPLWJmT65aBfedncFn-KaBtmpQe6QMWRYDFS-pYxgUvWKrvNZLQPX1d91Q78s2uojEULWIViaXxXFLDOCUiPmwRjIGR-E/s1600/Jeff+close+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7O-bhq43t0y6o3p8pUsoQvr97CQE5rJxMncRWWWgcLwahvqyPLWJmT65aBfedncFn-KaBtmpQe6QMWRYDFS-pYxgUvWKrvNZLQPX1d91Q78s2uojEULWIViaXxXFLDOCUiPmwRjIGR-E/s320/Jeff+close+up.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sleeping Jeff</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiY6Jmac7a4471LmVD81J89fwXx198tTHKLlr7wfmE60_DDtkPoU9fgPsosj_SysDtHRWiIIm4rO75Unzl198DKorzzORkEvvG-34HSQnQfrSX5TA9eaYeAX_xc_xQH4C0K1tKH31Bu7U/s1600/532423_10100760192165749_14813322_54792449_344706624_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiY6Jmac7a4471LmVD81J89fwXx198tTHKLlr7wfmE60_DDtkPoU9fgPsosj_SysDtHRWiIIm4rO75Unzl198DKorzzORkEvvG-34HSQnQfrSX5TA9eaYeAX_xc_xQH4C0K1tKH31Bu7U/s320/532423_10100760192165749_14813322_54792449_344706624_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They love each other</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Derek also is turning into quite the camera man. Here is a video of Derek holding the babies when they are three days old. It's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwRWe8NhURM&feature=youtube_gdata_player" target="_blank">"The Twins Making Derek Fall In Love With Them."</a><br />
<br />
And Derek somehow had the sense to film <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B8D26YtfTQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player" target="_blank">"Aaron's First Feeding."</a> We had been awake for almost 24 hours and he still had the skill and the sense to capture this beautifully. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1477942682635369144.post-59853075457406552992012-03-29T00:38:00.000-05:002012-08-06T22:50:52.572-05:00A Few Days EarlyChloe had one more doctor's appointment before the big induction day on March 30th. On Monday, March 26th Chloe was scheduled to go to the doctor at 1:15 PM to check her blood pressure and make sure everything was OK for Friday. Easy peasy...right? <br />
<br />
I figured it would only be a 5 minute doctor appointment but by 2:23 PM there was no response to my text or call. Weird. I thought the doctor would look at Chloe and say, "Yep...you're swollen...stay off your feet until Friday" and then I'd see her at 4:30 AM on the 30th. <br />
<br />
At 3:06 PM Chloe calls. Finally! I know she'll tell me she's fine and just ate a cheeseburger and a drank a milkshake and that's why she was so late in calling, right? <br />
<br />
<strong>Me:</strong> Hi Chloe.<br />
<strong>Chloe:</strong> (calm voice) Hey Michael. How are you doing? <br />
<strong>Me:</strong> I'm good. More importantly how are <em>you</em> doing?<br />
<strong>Chloe:</strong> I'm good too. You know I had a doctor's appointment today, right?<br />
<strong>Me:</strong> Yeah, how did everything go?<br />
<strong>Chloe:</strong> Well, the doctor said I don't have preeclampsia now but I'm moving in that direction so they decided to induce today. I'm going to the hospital now.<br />
<strong>Me:</strong> Ummmm...OK...ummmmm (something that wasn't English, a lot of crying and several "thank you" type mumblings).<br />
<br />
I won't bore you with every detail of every minute at this point. Basically, though, I called Derek's work and cell phone again and again and again and even called the front desk and had him paged. He was in a meeting telling everyone that Friday was the big day. (Ummmm...guess again.)<br />
<br />
Derek, Chloe, Chloe's mom, Chloe's sister and I arrived at the hospital. Chloe was at 1.5 cm like she had been for a long time. <br />
<br />
Start the pitocin.<br />
<br />
Chloe wasn't even aware she was having contractions. We had to tell her when they were happening on the monitor.<br />
<br />
Increase the pitocin.<br />
<br />
Chloe started to feel some contractions but continued to watch TV.<br />
<br />
Increase the pitocin.<br />
<br />
Chloe barely winced during contractions.<br />
<br />
Check Chloe - 2.5 cm after 4 hours. Grrrrrrr....<br />
<br />
Increase the pitocin.<br />
<br />
Chloe evenutally asked for her epidural around 11pm or midnight. <br />
<br />
Increase the pitocin.<br />
<br />
At 1:00 AM she is still at 2.5 cm. Chloe's sister goes home. Chloe's mom tries to sleep in the room. <br />
<br />
Increase the pitocin.<br />
<br />
At 2:45 AM Derek and I finally try to sleep in the family waiting area down the hall because we are 100% sure the babies won't be here for a while.<br />
<br />
Fifteen minutes later my phone rings. It's Chloe's mom calling from the room saying Chloe is suddenly at 10 cm and she'll be pushing soon.<br />
<br />
(More of something that isn't English, a lot of crying and several "thank you" type mumblings.)<br />
<br />
We rush into the room and about 3:20 AM Chloe and her mom are escorted to the OR for the twin delivery. <br />
<br />
Derek and I waited and figured we'd have to wait an hour or two. <br />
<br />
At 3:47ish someone comes into the room with an update.<br />
<br />
"You have two boys. The first was born at 3:37. The second was breech and was born at 3:41. Both vaginal deliveries."<br />
<br />
(More of something that isn't English, a lot of crying and several "thank you" type mumblings.)<br />
<br />
Derek and I were brought back to meet our boys. Aaron Mitchell was born first and was 5 lbs. 10 oz. Jeffrey Alan came second at 6 lbs. 11 oz. <br />
<br />
All is well. We'll be discharged in about 12 hours and when we're home I'll try to get a couple pictures posted. Although this surrogacy journey has ended and the parenthood journey is beginning, stay tuned. I still have a few more stories to tell about this wonderful story of how I got a family.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218522899376081830noreply@blogger.com20