Grooooooooow babies!!

How 2 men + 2 women - sex + science = 2 babies!!

This is the funny, heart-warming, tearful, inspiring, and shocking truth about my journey to have a child.

How a man, another man, a woman, another woman, a couple lawyers, a few doctors, a psychologist, a couple social workers and some agencies make a baby.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Five Month Reunion

Derek and I have been trying to find time for Chloe to come see the boys again.  Between my weekend work schedule and out of towners coming to visit we had to plan a day several weeks in advance.  It finally worked out this past weekend.  I had emailed Chloe to say that she could bring her mom or anyone else she wanted to bring.  She responded by saying she was bringing four other people so it turned into a whole party.

Chloe's mom was able to join us and see the babies for the first time since the hospital.  It was nice to see her again.  I had mentioned in some previous postings how wonderful it was that she was so excited about everything going on during the pregnancy - her daughter doing something amazing, meeting the twins, Derek and I becoming dads, etc.  She really loved getting to see the boys and enjoyed playing with them.  Chloe also brought her son.  I was wondering if he would be into the babies or understand the magnitude of what his mom did.  He's 7 years old and was more interested in movies and video games than talking with the adults so I didn't get to talk with him too much.  Chloe also brought the guy she is dating and his son.  Derek and I had wondered what happened to him.  We met him one time at the fertility clinic right after she became pregnant and then never saw him again.  I would imagine starting a relationship when you are pregnant with a stranger and his partner's twins is very difficult.  So after the pregnancy was done they did get together.  I'm thrilled for her.  He was very nice and I enjoyed seeing him and getting to know him a little more.

The other fantastic news is that Chloe is starting graduate school!  I am very excited for her.  Way back when we met, Chloe had wanted to become a doctor.  It never worked out and I kept hoping that she would find another career path.  She has had a decent job but I knew it wasn't her dream.  It took a few years longer than she probably hoped, but I'm happy to announce that she will be working in the medical field in a couple years if all goes well.  The fun fact to add is that Chloe will be going to school where Derek teaches! 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


Last year for Christmas I was trying to figure out what to give Derek.  I found a picture frame that says "FAMILY" and has room for ten pictures around the word.  I thought this would be a great gift.  Even if we can't legally be a family (I'll save my rant on the gay marriage issue for another day) we will see proof in our home that we are, truly, a family.

We had a bunch of pictures in the frame and we recently swapped out a few for better pictures.  Our families don't live locally and we're trying to make sure we have plenty of pictures of them around so the kids know their grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins.  I saw we had a great picture of "Chloe" with the twins and after just a half a second of contemplation I put her picture in our family frame.

Chloe is a part of our family now.  As our children get older and the bond between us grows and my love for them increases I become more and more grateful to Chloe.  I still feel like I haven't been able to thank her enough.  I'll probably never feel like I have shown her enough gratitude.  I like having her picture where I can see it every day to remind me that I owe my family, to a large degree, to her.

At a time when Derek and I have to choose to be each others' family without legal rights, we choose to have Chloe be a part of our family too.  She (and a lot of her family) plan to visit us soon.  I get more and more excited counting down the days.  The relationship we have is unique.  It's strong even if we don't see each other.  It's intimate on a level that outsiders don't understand.  It's a relationship that will last for the rest of our lives even if we lose touch.  Yep...just like a family.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The New Normal

I started this entry a while ago and forgot to publish it probably due to my forgetful baby brain.  Here it is...

I love Tivo.  I'm a little bit of a TV addict.  I'm also a sign language interpreter.  So when sign language is on TV I get really excited.  It's great when a language and a culture that is often misunderstood gets some exposure to the general public and can educate people.  I put "deaf" as a keyword into Tivo and it records anything that has that word in the program description.  It's interesting to see what we get.  Tivo has recorded news stories about deaf individuals, documentaries about deaf poets, shows from the 1950s, '60s, and '70s that show how deaf people were treated at the time (as people who couldn't make decisions for themselves -- eek! or a suspect of a crime who was arrested and interrogated by police without an interpreter -- double eek!!) and even a great cartoon that showed how a deaf child uses an interpreter in school (my kids are definitely going to watch Maya and Miguel.)  I couldn't find the episode online but click here for an article about the show.

But back to the topic we ALL love: surrogacy.  I recently fell asleep on the couch and woke up to an episode of American Dad which was about the wife agreeing to be a surrogate for a gay couple who lives next door.  I don't usually watch that show, but I have to admit it was pretty funny.  Surrogacy has made its way into cartoons.

The other piece of exciting news is there will be new sitcom about a woman who is a surrogate for a gay couple.  Watch the trailer for The New Normal and you're guaranteed to laugh and cry.

I think I need my Tivo to start searching for the keyword "surrogate" since stories about surrogacy are popping up everywhere.  Who knows what I'll get to see, but I bet it will be interesting.