Grooooooooow babies!!

How 2 men + 2 women - sex + science = 2 babies!!

This is the funny, heart-warming, tearful, inspiring, and shocking truth about my journey to have a child.

How a man, another man, a woman, another woman, a couple lawyers, a few doctors, a psychologist, a couple social workers and some agencies make a baby.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Did You Know Clowns and Underwear Tossing Can Make a Baby?

A friend of mine recently sent me an article about IVF treatment. She saw it and thought of me. It had to do with the success/failure rate of IVF and what can help a woman become pregnant. I had seen some of these studies before talking about the success rates of transfering 1 vs. 2 embryos. This one was a little bit different.

This study talked about the increased success rates for women undergoing IVF who were entertained by clowns.

I'm not joking.

It makes sense. We've all heard "laughter is the best medicine" and know of the movie Patch Adams. Basically laughter helps women de-stress.

Here is a link to the article.

I wondered what else I could find about fertility that was weird, wild or wacky. I thought if clowns worked, what else could? I was surprised I didn't find a million different studies. I find article after article of weird sperm facts, but nothing about surrogates.

After some searching I did find one other crazy article about a mouse with two dads. So, in the future, two men can have a baby...sort of. The process, as it stands now, is unethical and impractical and all other sorts of things. I'm including the link. It still doesn't make 100% sense to me but basically some special stem cells from Dad #1 are inserted into an embryo and the daughters that are born only have Dad #1's DNA. That daughter then can breed with Dad #2 and the baby is a child with only Dad #1 and Dad #2's DNA.

I didn't find much else except a few fun facts...

The Ripley's Believe It Or Not museum in Florida has two totems from a tribe in the Ivory Coast. During one year 20 staff members touched the statue's head and eight got pregnant.
Guess I have a reason to go to Florida in the winter now.

Some people say Feng Shui can help get a woman pregnant. There should be nothing blocking your front door inside or outside including parking outside your door. Apparently that blocks reproductive energy. And keep the area under the bed clear but don't clean it.
Finally, a reason to not clean!

You could fly to Naples, Italy. There is an old apartment with a "miracle chair." Legend has it that a woman was sitting in the chair and saw a statue of baby Jesus open his arms. Women now sit in that chair and get blessed. The walls are covered in pictures of babies born to women who sat in the chair.
I've always wanted to visit Italy.

In Congo the Yansi people use their underwear to get pregnant. When the moon is waning you throw your underwear on top of your roof. When there is a new moon, get your underwear back. Apparently that helps a woman become pregnant.
I wonder what my condo association would say if I did that???

When all else fails the web article suggested fertility spells. Google it. You'll see!
Some spells are even free!!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Back to Square Two

- "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

- "Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

- “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”

- “You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.”

- “The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.”

When I Googled "quotes about trying" I found a bunch of them. They're so inspirational, aren't they? It was like the cliff notes of "The Little Engine That Could." I should read these quotes and feel like I could conquer the world, right?

What these quotes fail to address, however, is that it takes a lot of effort and energy to try again and again. When you get knocked down so hard it can be easy to just lay down and accept defeat. I think that's why I haven't written much on my blog and I put off looking for an egg donor for a few weeks. It has been hard to get over the fact that the last 10 months of my life - all of the time, tears, money, energy, worrying, etc. - have not resulted in the goal. But at least I'm at square two now, not square one. I have a surrogate who I like. I have a doctor who I like. I even have a lawyer who I'm excited to talk to again. I hope I never see her again after this (except to introduce her to the baby) but I have really had a very positive experience with my lawyer. Maybe that actually puts me at square four?

Looking for a new egg donor wasn't a big decision in some respects. I wanted a Jewish donor who either had children of her own or had donated before and had had a successful outcome. There really aren't many who fit that criteria. I looked through the databases of three egg donation centers in Chicago and basically found one. The donor I considered using the first time but couldn't because someone else picked her had donated successfully but I saw that she had 23 eggs, 16 embryos and only 1 frozen embryo. I don't know the full story but it sounds like a bunch of embryos didn't make it past day 3 or 5. There was a donor who graduated from a top college, was currently in medical school and qualified for Olympic trials -- twice! That was impressive, but she was a first time donor and not Jewish. The other donor I was considering is the one who has donated five times before. One time the parent(s) did not get pregnant but there are some frozen embryos. Another time there was no pregnancy but it was a sperm issue. The other three times were successful including two times using my doctor and one time it was twins.

I asked the agency what kind of girl would donate six times. I wondered if she was just in it for the money. Her requested compensation was also considerably higher than most other girls. Of course I can't get a full picture of who she is, but I have picked up a few details about her including the fact that she has said donating has made her happy, she was described as showing empathy for couples using egg donors, she was involved with the Big Sister program, and she mentioned she is comfortable donating to a same sex couple or a single father. She also agreed to take a lower amount of compensation when I asked. I'm willing to pay a little more than an average price given the fact that she's Jewish, has a high pregnancy success rate and she has a master's degree. Those qualities are important to me and are hard to find. Plus, I just found out she's leaving for Israel soon and will visit her grandmother in NY on the way back home. How could i not pick a girl who is visiting her bubbe after seeing Israel? Oy. I could kvell. I'm verklempt in my ganecktigazoink.