Grooooooooow babies!!

How 2 men + 2 women - sex + science = 2 babies!!

This is the funny, heart-warming, tearful, inspiring, and shocking truth about my journey to have a child.

How a man, another man, a woman, another woman, a couple lawyers, a few doctors, a psychologist, a couple social workers and some agencies make a baby.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Closing The Account

Every month I get a statement from the accountant managing the escrow money telling me how much money is left in the account.  I get charged $12 a month as a maintenance fee.  I have sent the accountant several emails asking if I can close out the account and save my money because she isn't doing anything.  After all, twelve dollars will buy enough diapers for about three hours with twins or a bottle and a half worth of formula (those supplies are expensive!).  The boys are almost seven months old and I believe, according to our contract, any costs related to the pregnancy (like lost wages or counseling if necessary) would stop twelve weeks after the birth. 

A few days ago I finally got an email from the surrogacy agency telling me that I can officially close out my escrow account.  The accountant was CC'd and I wrote a follow up email to her and I have yet to hear back from her.   

This posting, however, is not about my bad escrow accountant.  It's about the fact that once the escrow account closes I believe I will be 100% done with the surrogacy contract and the process.  Chloe and I have kept in touch.  We plan to keep in touch.  I hope the kids get to know her.  However it's a little sad and scary and odd to think about this whole ordeal...over two and a half years...coming to an end.  There will be no more legal ties to each other.

(I wrote the entry above on Wednesday.  The paragraph below is from today.)

Of course, right after I think about my formal relationship with Chloe coming to an end I go home and watch my Tivo'd episode of The New Normal.  Of course this week's episode deals with the young daughter getting upset after hearing that most surrogates and intended parents don't keep in touch after the baby/babies are born.  The surrogate in the show understands the reality of this but I was just as upset as the child on the show. 

"No," I wanted to shout back.  "We DO want to keep in touch with our surrogates." 

Because this is a Hollywood sitcom and no one wants to see a little girl cry, the intended parents made the girl a godmother to their unborn child so they would be bonded forever and everyone lived happily ever after.

That's how I hope my life will be - like a sticom.  My life is shaping up to look like one.  The show does parallel my life quite a bit and, I have a hottie husband-to-be, and like the Jewish character, I had no idea what a godparent really does.  (Luckily the show explained it to me.)  Hopefully my life will continue to look like the show where is always laughter, and a happy ending.   

Thursday, October 4, 2012


I have a Facebook friend.  It's one of those people I knew years and years ago, lost touch with her, reconnected with her on Facebook, caught up with each other, and now don't communicate much but we know the other is there if need be.  Well, "need be" happened.

This friend of mine recently sent me an email saying that she loves being pregnant but isn't sure she wants more kids.  Surrogacy is something she would consider.  She asked me a little bit about my surrogacy journey. 

I have to say I was thrilled she was considering this and honored she would share it with me.  It made my blog feel like a success.  One of the reasons I started this blog was to be a resource to others who are considering surrogacy.  I have shared a lot of personal details about my life and my story with friends and strangers who follow this blog and my Fatherhood blog.  Sometimes I feel I have shared too much...but then something like this happens and I'm glad I could be a resource for a friend who may now make some person or couple's dream come true.  I referred her to a surrogate who I met online who was willing to talk to her and, it turns out, doesn't live too far from my friend.  It just proves how our online community is there for each other and how valuable and powerful information can be.