A Different Kind of Wish

This is the time of year we hear about wishes. We hear children wishing that they get presents from Santa, people wishing to be home for the holidays with their families and everyone wishing everyone else a happy new year. All of us in the surrogacy community are wishing for happy, healthy babies too. But let's not forget all the soon-to-be parents out there going through adoption and their wishes too.  For an unknown amount of time they hope that their phone will ring bringing them the news that their baby is on his or her way not knowing if they'll have 4 months or 4 days to get ready.

I recently wrote a blog talking about how lucky I felt to have twins on the way. Too many amazing, caring, wonderful people have not had the success I have had in this crazy process of having babies. This process is so random and a lot of luck is involved. My friends Kirsten and Marty are still holding their lotto tickets hoping that their lucky number will come up.  My wish for this year is that someone is able to help them achieve their dream. 

Marty and Kirsten are looking to adopt a newborn. You would think such an amazing couple would have been picked by a birth mother long ago. Kirsten has been a great friend of mine for about 8 years. She is intelligent, compassionate, very giving and a great actress who played my sister in a show and has since become like a sister to me. She is one of those rare people in this world who really values quality over quantity. She chooses to use her time to work on valuable projects and social justice and I know if she becomes a mom she will dedicate her time to her ultimate role as a mother while instilling quality values in her child.

I have known Marty almost as long as I have known Kirsten and he has been a wonderful, caring provider and a loyal friend who is always willing to lend a hand and give support. He has a gift of looking at a situation and seeing all sides while using both rational thinking and compassionate emotions. He has dealt with adversity and always managed to confront it with a smile.

Kirsten and Marty have learned that one of the best ways to adopt a child is through networking. They have asked me to publicize their webpage and Facebook page among my small but growing number of blog readers who understand the strong desire to become a parent. It doesn't matter where you live—they can adopt from any U.S. state. Please check out their beautiful website and spread the word to help a lucky child connect with some amazing parents-to-be in one or more of the following ways...

1) Email them your contact names at kirstenmartyadopting@earthlink.net. Their counselor tells them that the best referrals are OB/GYNs and family doctors.  If you have the names and contact information for any of your doctors, they’d be really grateful to receive those names or other leads. They’ll send the doctors a nice letter introducing ourselves, and then no pestering them after that -- they promise.

2) Visit and share their updated website: http://www.kirstenmartyadopting.com/ Can you think of 3-5 people with whom you could share this link? Good choices would be people with large networks of friends/family, and people who regularly come into contact with young women (the typical birthmother in successful adoptions is in her early 20’s).

3) “Like” their Facebook Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kirsten-and-Marty-Adopting/175460612502343?sk=info%3E, and share the page with your Facebook friends.

Thanks in advance for any help.  I know 2012 will be a great year for me.  I hope 2012 is a great year for Kirsten, Marty and all of you bloggers out there.  Some of you recently got your wish, some are like me and are waiting for the wish to arrive, and for those of you still wishing, I hope you have the opportunity to wish again and it comes true this time.

I Need an Interpreter

One thing that you should know about me before you read this posting is that I am an interpreter. I spend my days running around the city interpreting anything and everything you could imagine. Seriously, you imagine it, I've probably been asked to do it or I've actually done it. I have interpreted high school and college classes in every subject imaginable, training for people who do taxes, 12-step recovery program meetings, discussions on transubstantiation and world religions, traffic court and mediation meetings, psychological assessments, and even a couple classes in Spanish even though I'm not a Spanish interpreter. Very little phases me any more. Doctors, lawyers, accountants, psychologists, rabbis and anyone else can throw out terminology and I've probably heard it or can deduce the meaning and provide an accurate interpretation.

Then I went shopping for baby strollers and car seats. I needed an interpreter. Here's what happened...

On my stroll through the city to run some errands and head to work I passed a couple of baby stores. I went in one because I wanted to see if they had that bed that grows with your baby I've heard about. Sure enough they did. Well, the saleslady told me that ordering a crib can take 10-12 weeks. I was taken aback by that since the babies are probably coming in about 15 weeks. Maybe I was in a state of shock and that's why my brain wasn't working when I went into the next store to discuss car seats and strollers.

The salesgirl at that store talked so fast my brain couldn't keep up. There was one sentence that was all gibberish to me. All I remember was hearing something that sounded like

You can use an InfantRoundaboutBSafeConvertibleAdvocateMarathon
CombinationBoosterClickAndSafeHarness and put it in your GracoTrekkoMountainBuggyDuoGliderWheelCityMiniTandemSportSnapAndGoBritaxDoubleWideDeluxeSwivelSideBySideBugaboo in silver, blue, onyx, paisley, cavalier, gray, navy, cardinal, crimson, red or cowmooflage."

Really? Cardinal, crimson AND red??? Do babies even care? (I know...it's the parents who care.) And just what the heck is cowmooflage? You know designers spent years coming up with just the right Holstein cow pattern worthy of being called cowmooflage.

Oh...and it's only $600 if you don't want any of the attachments.

Years ago, before we had all these laws and choices, kids were rolled through town in a wheelbarrow or rode on the back of a mule or were strapped to the back seat of a car with duct tape? (Kidding!)

Luckily my friend with twins (who is an interpreter) invited me over to her house to meet her kids and talk about parenting twins. She helped explain the stoller and crib situation. Whew. Hopefully I won't have another breakdown until I try to put together the crib or install the car seat. I've heard you need a degree in rocket science to do those.

The Award Winning All-Star Broadway Musical Which Will Be a Blockbuster Movie and (Maybe) a Mini-Series

If you've been reading my blog from the beginning you'll know that I started out joking that my story would be the next "Julie and Julia" entitled "Michael and Michaela". "Michaela" has been going through surrogacy too and I'm thrilled to say that yesterday she became the mother of a baby girl. I couldn't be happier for her and her husband.

Since you can't make it through this process (or any pregnancy) without a little humor, "Michaela" and I (with the help of some Facebook friends and now YOU) have been writing this Broadway musical/movie/mini-series. The descriptions of the songs are from the writers and you can see who gets credit for each song. This will be updated periodically as the cast and song list change and hopefully it will be completed at the birth of my children. Please feel free to make comments and suggestions for casting and song titles.


CAST LIST

Michael: Me!
Michaela: Amy Adams
Derek: Neil Patrick Harris
Aaron (Michaela's husband): Matthew Broderick
Michael's first egg donor: Mayim Bialik
Michael's second egg donor: Lea Michele
Michael's third egg donor: Natalie Portman
Chloe (Michael's surrogate): Jennifer Hudson
Lisa (Michaela's surrogate): Ashley Judd
Dr. K. (Michael's doctor): Hugh Jackman
Nurse Ratchet: Glenn Close
Michaela's doctor: Judy Greer
Michael's friends: Kathy Griffin, Jason Bateman & Eva Mendes
Michaela's friends: Ryan Reynolds and Tina Fey
Michael's parents: Carol Burnett and Martin Short

CREATIVE TEAM

Director: Steven Spielberg
Music and lyrics: Stephen Sondheim
Choreographer: "Michaela"

SONG LIST

"Makin' Babies in the 21st Century" - A song featuring porn, pipettes and petri dishes. (written by Michaela)

"Matchmaker" - A cover from Fiddler on the Roof with all new lyrics about finding the right egg donor and surrogate for Michael and Michaela. (written by Michaela)

"A Game of Telephone" - The joy of contract negotiation between two strangers via two lawyers in which messages are hilariously misinterpreted (written by Michaela)

"I'll Leggo My Eggos For You" - Several of Michael's absolutely amazing friends all offer him their eggs to help start his family. (written by Michael)

"Shootin' Up" - A raucous, western/country-esque song sung by Michaela and the egg donors and surrogates about the process of producing eggs and getting ready for the transfer. (written by Michaela)

‎"Circles of Life" - A song about the round shapes of eggs and the Life cereal Michael's friends ate for him and Derek. (written by Allison O.)

"It's a Hard (To Get) Knock(ed Up) Life" - The cover from "Annie" sung by Michaela's doctor. (written by Michaela)

"One" - An uplifting and exciting tap number about the great odds of only needing one egg to stick. Of course, there will be sparkly hats. (written by Allison O.)

"Somewhere That's Fertile" - A song sung by fetus as it dreams of fertile uteruses (uteri?). There will be fog and projections of a fetus gallivanting joyfully through uterine lining a la fields of daisies! Too gross...? (written by Allison O.)

"(It's all about) Pluses and Minuses" a duet/power ballad sung by Michael and Michaela as they await the results of their many pregnancy tests, while also contemplating the pluses and minuses of surrogacy and questioning whether or not they will ever become parents. (written by Michaela)

"Nobody Puts Baby (or Michael) in the Corner" - A sensitive and climatic power ballad that comes right before intermission and communicates Michael's determination to have a baby. Of course, since it's right before intermission, the entire cast will slowly enter and join in the song a la Fame's "Hard Work Reprise". (written by Allison O.)

"The Wicked Witch of the Womb's Lament" - Michael's nurse's song showing her true, inner feelings that's sure to win the hearts of the audience as well as a Grammy. (written by Michael)

"It's Not Over 'Til It's Ova!" - a second-act, buck-'em-up rousing song. (written by Thomas S.)

"Grooooooooow Baby" - Chloe's tender ballad hoping that the eggs stick. (written by Michael)

"Baby's Goin' to Beauty School" - Derek and Michael's duet realizing the babies can't go to Harvard because this process is draining their college fund. (written by Derek)

"Out There"- The fetus' song where they dream of what's beyond the goo. (written by Thom S.)

"Pushin' Real Hard" - a revival-esque gospel number about the birthing process sung by Chloe and the whole cast. (written by Michaela)

The Wee-Wee or Hoo-Ha Appointment

I hadn't seen my surrogate for almost 6 weeks. She had mentioned to me that she was showing. She had to order the pregnancy uniform for work because she was showing so much. When she walked into the waiting room on Wednesday she didn't look that big. She certainly had a baby bump, but it wasn't huge.

Then we entered the ultrasound room and she raised her shirt. Her stomach was big. I don't know what a typical 21 week stomach looks like, but it was bigger than I thought would be.

Yes...I know it's twins. I know she is going to get big. But at only slightly more than halfway through I'm concerned. I'm afraid she's going to be on bed rest by week 30.

The ultrasound technician, who I really liked and who will be the ultrasound tech for us for the rest of the pregnancy (and might even make a cameo in the Michael/Michaela musical/movie/mini-series/Broadway blockbuster) asked if Derek and I wanted to know the genders of the babies. We said no. Well, I had said from the start of the while process that I didn't want to know and Derek is OK with that. I wanted to make sure they each have 10 fingers and 10 toes, a couple of arms and legs each and a healthy spine, brain, heart and all those other important body parts. I couldn't care less about the wee-wee or the hoo-ha. (Those are the official terms. I'm a medical interpreter so I should know.) The technician said if it were a singleton baby the 20 week ultrasound would be the last one, but because it's twins we'll have ultrasounds every 4 weeks to make sure they're growing appropriately. I could ask for the sex during a future ultrasound, but I'm 99% sure I won't.

I got to work after the ultrasound and some co-workers were looking at the pictures. I told them I hadn't asked to know if the babies were boys or girls or one of each. One friend said, "I'll look!" As she looked through the pictures she asked, "Where are all the crotch pictures??? Did you tell the tech to avoid the crotch?!?!?"

So instead of knowing, I'll let you all vote. On the right side of my blog is a game to cast your vote. Or, if you're a fan of guessing, you can click on the link for ExpectNet and then click on "Enter a Guess" to guess the babies' due date, length, weight, and gender. I'll even give you some pictures to help you decide. Are these boys, girls or one of each?