First a Liebster, Then a Tony, Then an Oscar!

When I was 14 years old I went to a theater camp. (There's a documentary called "Stagedoor" about that camp but even better is a movie called "Camp" loosely based on the real camp.) At the end of every session there was a fake Tony award for best actor, actress, cast, etc. I am proud to say I won Best Ensemble Member in a Musical (Pippin 1990), Best Featured Actor in a Musical (Annie, 1991) and Best Lead Actor in a Musical (Once Upon a Mattress, 1991).  However, those plastic, gold colored "Tony" awards mean nothing compared to the Liebster awards I just won.

I'm now one-fifth of my way to my LEGOT.  For those of you who don't get the reference, a few seasons ago on 30 Rock an actor was trying to win an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony award.  Well, I'll do even better by getting those AND a Liebster.   

Thank you so much to Jeni from Love Makes a Family and the lovely ladies at Life on Prescott Street for the award. Jeni will definitely get a role in my musical and I am happy to give the Prescott Street ladies all the advice they're willing to take when they are blessed with their own, precious bellyfish.

The Liebster Blog Award is an award for bloggers with less than 200 followers who deserve more recognition.

Liebster is a German word that means ‘dearest’ or ‘beloved’, but can also mean ‘favorite’. The idea of the award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers.

The Award comes with a few rules. You’re supposed to:
§ Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them
§ Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog
§ Post the award on your blog
§ Bask in the love from the most supportive people in the blogosphere – other bloggers
§ Hope your recipients pass the award to their 5 favorite blogs to keep the love flowing

I don't like that I only get five recipients.  I'm a very indecisive person and I don't like the idea of singling out only five blogs from the amazing people I've been following online for the past year.  But rules are rules so I will comply.  Besides, I think most of the surrogates and IPs' blogs I wanted to mention have already won Liebster awards, so here are some a few non-baby-makin' blogs.

Drum Roll Please...

And the Liebster Award goes to...

1. Since I was inspired to start writing because of the whole Julie & Julia thing, I want to share the modern day version of it.  Carly isn't cooking an entire book of recipes.  Who has time for that with a job and a baby???  But she is sampling every single-serving frozen meal out there.  She hasn't posted in a while, but maybe this award will make her realize she has fans waiting for the next entry.  Check her out at A Girl's Gotta Eat.

2. If frozen meals aren't your style and you want to cook for yourself, you should check out The Amazing Shrinking Actor.  Chase has lost almost 150 lbs. to date and he provides some great advice on weight loss and sometimes a couple tasty recipes too.  Give him some support and you'll get support in return.

3. As a former actor who did two years of touring shows I know how great it can be to see the entire country.  If you don't have 9 free months and a few thousand dollars to see it on your own, follow the adventures of a super actress/interpreter at New Adventures and see what she discovers.

4. I couldn't resist adding a couple of surrogacy blogs and I don't think this blog has won a Liebster yet.  There is one particular entry that really touched me and this link goes directly to that day.  Chelle is so passionate about having a successful pregnancy for her IF and you can see it in her blog 4 St@r Womb.  She's starting another cycle very, very soon so let's all keep her in our thoughts as the day approaches. 

5. The last award goes to a blogger who is dear to my heart, Tiffany - otherwise known as Michaela in the "Michael and Michaela" movie/musical/mini-series.  This particular entry from No Womb At the Inn shows how our lives became connected for the third time.  Tiffany and I started our journeys around the same time, found strength in each other, cried together when things didn't work, yelled together when we we angry at the world, laughed together at the craziness we endured, and now we can celebrate our successes together as two families.  Her story has ended, but it's worth reading again and again.   

Thank Goodness for Mark Zuckerberg

I did it. I took that little gun and went zap, zap, zap. My friends and their two year old met Derek and me as well as Kirsten and Marty (who are quickly becoming stars in this movie/Broadway musical since I know you're all becoming more and more invested in their story) and we went to the bastion of baby needs: Babies R Us. All I can say to any future parents is that you need to take someone with you who has a baby.

My friends told me how many blankets we need (a lot), whether fancy Pack 'N Plays are worth the money (they're not), wipe warmers are necessary (babies love them), what socks are best (triple cuff so babies don't kick them off) and more. Kirsten and Marty and Derek and I were in awe of this dynamic duo of CC & KK who made their way through the aisles of baby paraphernalia like pros.

By the end of the experience my head was swimming. I had seen strollers, cribs, clothes, bedding, toys, books, and even little booger suctions. I think had CC and KK not been there I would have been found at closing time curled up in a ball in a corner and quietly weeping.

We made it through most of the small stuff but Derek and I were still trying to decide on a crib. We had heard everything from "Get it on Craig's List" to "Spend $1600 on an Amish, all-wood crib -- it's worth it." This is the reason I am grateful to Mark Zuckerberg.

This morning, about 7:30am, I asked about cribs on my Facebook status. I asked if I really needed something that was $1000+. Within a few hours I had about 10 opinions telling me that almost any crib is fine and the most important thing is to make sure there are no recalls on it. People had hand-me-downs, IKEA cribs, or cribs that were a few hundred dollars that they used for 2 or 3 kids and they all worked. One friend's response to buying an Amish crib was, "And yet many non-Amish still raise kids just fine." So thank you, Mark Zuckerberg, for helping me get a lot of answers quickly.

Also, my hormones are so out of whack I cry at everything. I think it all started with the gift registry. That day meant that this is real. This is really happening...and soon. This has been a long and emotional journey where the stakes are among some of the highest we face in life. There have been heartaches and, as one other blogger put it, we put up walls to protect ourselves. Now, the wall is starting to crack and it's exciting and scary and wonderful all at the same time.

To show you how bad my crying has become I'll tell you a story about crying at a sitcom. Yes...a sitcom. I know. I'm supposed to laugh. Derek would agree with you and didn't know why I would cry at a sitcom. Allow me to defend myself.

The sitcom was "Up All Night." If you don't know the show, it's about a couple who recently had a baby. I've started watching it to get pointers -- often I learn what not to do. If watching a show about taking care of a newborn wasn't enough to make me cry, this particular episode was a flashback to the birth. (Are you starting to understand my side now?) The parents were on their way to the hospital and started realizing it was their last few minutes on earth not being parents. They wanted to remember their lives before they changed forever. (Are YOU tearing up now?) During labor the mother wanted to give up but got strength from a supportive husband and knowing that she would soon see the face of her child allowed her to push the baby out. In the end they were holding an adorable baby girl as a happy family.

How could you not cry at that?

I Met the Machatunim

What the heck is a machatunim?

Yeah, I know I better explain that first before I continue.

Machatunim is a Yiddish word meaning the in-laws. I didn't really meet the in-laws last Thursday. I've already met Derek's family. (Although this month my family will meet his family for the first time and I'm so excited for that.) On Thursday I met Chloe's mother. Chloe had previously mentioned that her mother had been wanting to come to an appointment. I'm not sure if it was just to see the ultrasound or to meet Derek and me or support her daughter or a combination of everything. It was fun to meet her. Here's what I took away from that experience:

1. Chloe's mom is excited for this pregnancy. She talked about feeling the babies kick and how great it is to watch the babies grow.

2. During the ultrasound she got up to get a closer look at the monitor and afterwards she was looking at the picture (we only got one, measley picture of Baby B that day -- how sad).

3. She seemed truly excited for Derek and me.

It's this third one that really gets me. Once again I am amazed by the lack of judgement of our situation. As Derek and I start shopping for cribs and strollers and get ready to register we "out" ourselves and our situation more and more. I expect to get that surprised look on people's faces for a second as they readjust to understand they're talking with two dads; they don't. We're not so special any more. We're commonplace in (parts of) America (and the world).

Speaking of shopping, my friends with a 2 year old are taking Derek and me (and Kirsten and Marty of the kirstenmartingadopting.com fame from my last post) to register at Babies R Us this weekend. There is so much to learn: stollers, cribs, car seats, monitors, clothes, toys, bottles, etc. I'm sure we'll be overwhelmed but we have to start soon. Wish us luck and make recommendations if you want.

Also, a little update on the babies. They're big. Oh, and I don't mean big for twins -- I mean big for singletons. Poor Chloe. With every measurement I became more concerned for her. The babies are each over 2 lbs. The ultrasound technician measured their femurs and heads so we got four numbers based on the size of a singleton. I can't remember all four numbers but I believe they ranged from the 72nd percentile to the 92nd percentile. My dad has long legs. I have long legs. I'm not so worried about the femurs and sort of expected tall kids. (I believe the 92nd percentile was for a femur, not a head circumference.) It's the large heads that are tough. Women who have given childbirth can attest to that. I had a kidney stone so I have some idea of what birth is like (don't argue...people say the pain is similar!) so I'm worried for Chloe. The doctor said she is measuring at 31 weeks even though we're only at 25. We go to 38 weeks and after that the babies are coming out one way or another. One piece of good news is that the larger baby will most likely be born first and doctors like it that way. Plus baby A was not breech this time so hopefully he/she will continue to have his/her head down. We also got to listen to the heartbeats for the first time. I've heard so many heartbeats while interpreting appointments but it's different when it's your own. That sloshing, whooshing sound is beautiful when it's your own kids.

The last piece of news is that Derek proposed to me. We took a "we-need-one-last-time-to-ourselves" vacation and Mexico and he proposed on the balcony of our hotel overlooking the ocean. It was pretty awesome. We had already known that we were committed to each other, but I have to say there is something pretty amazing to have someone tell you that you are the one person in the world who they want to be with for the rest of their lives. Kinda makes ya feel special!

A Different Kind of Wish

This is the time of year we hear about wishes. We hear children wishing that they get presents from Santa, people wishing to be home for the holidays with their families and everyone wishing everyone else a happy new year. All of us in the surrogacy community are wishing for happy, healthy babies too. But let's not forget all the soon-to-be parents out there going through adoption and their wishes too.  For an unknown amount of time they hope that their phone will ring bringing them the news that their baby is on his or her way not knowing if they'll have 4 months or 4 days to get ready.

I recently wrote a blog talking about how lucky I felt to have twins on the way. Too many amazing, caring, wonderful people have not had the success I have had in this crazy process of having babies. This process is so random and a lot of luck is involved. My friends Kirsten and Marty are still holding their lotto tickets hoping that their lucky number will come up.  My wish for this year is that someone is able to help them achieve their dream. 

Marty and Kirsten are looking to adopt a newborn. You would think such an amazing couple would have been picked by a birth mother long ago. Kirsten has been a great friend of mine for about 8 years. She is intelligent, compassionate, very giving and a great actress who played my sister in a show and has since become like a sister to me. She is one of those rare people in this world who really values quality over quantity. She chooses to use her time to work on valuable projects and social justice and I know if she becomes a mom she will dedicate her time to her ultimate role as a mother while instilling quality values in her child.

I have known Marty almost as long as I have known Kirsten and he has been a wonderful, caring provider and a loyal friend who is always willing to lend a hand and give support. He has a gift of looking at a situation and seeing all sides while using both rational thinking and compassionate emotions. He has dealt with adversity and always managed to confront it with a smile.

Kirsten and Marty have learned that one of the best ways to adopt a child is through networking. They have asked me to publicize their webpage and Facebook page among my small but growing number of blog readers who understand the strong desire to become a parent. It doesn't matter where you live—they can adopt from any U.S. state. Please check out their beautiful website and spread the word to help a lucky child connect with some amazing parents-to-be in one or more of the following ways...

1) Email them your contact names at kirstenmartyadopting@earthlink.net. Their counselor tells them that the best referrals are OB/GYNs and family doctors.  If you have the names and contact information for any of your doctors, they’d be really grateful to receive those names or other leads. They’ll send the doctors a nice letter introducing ourselves, and then no pestering them after that -- they promise.

2) Visit and share their updated website: http://www.kirstenmartyadopting.com/ Can you think of 3-5 people with whom you could share this link? Good choices would be people with large networks of friends/family, and people who regularly come into contact with young women (the typical birthmother in successful adoptions is in her early 20’s).

3) “Like” their Facebook Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kirsten-and-Marty-Adopting/175460612502343?sk=info%3E, and share the page with your Facebook friends.

Thanks in advance for any help.  I know 2012 will be a great year for me.  I hope 2012 is a great year for Kirsten, Marty and all of you bloggers out there.  Some of you recently got your wish, some are like me and are waiting for the wish to arrive, and for those of you still wishing, I hope you have the opportunity to wish again and it comes true this time.

I Need an Interpreter

One thing that you should know about me before you read this posting is that I am an interpreter. I spend my days running around the city interpreting anything and everything you could imagine. Seriously, you imagine it, I've probably been asked to do it or I've actually done it. I have interpreted high school and college classes in every subject imaginable, training for people who do taxes, 12-step recovery program meetings, discussions on transubstantiation and world religions, traffic court and mediation meetings, psychological assessments, and even a couple classes in Spanish even though I'm not a Spanish interpreter. Very little phases me any more. Doctors, lawyers, accountants, psychologists, rabbis and anyone else can throw out terminology and I've probably heard it or can deduce the meaning and provide an accurate interpretation.

Then I went shopping for baby strollers and car seats. I needed an interpreter. Here's what happened...

On my stroll through the city to run some errands and head to work I passed a couple of baby stores. I went in one because I wanted to see if they had that bed that grows with your baby I've heard about. Sure enough they did. Well, the saleslady told me that ordering a crib can take 10-12 weeks. I was taken aback by that since the babies are probably coming in about 15 weeks. Maybe I was in a state of shock and that's why my brain wasn't working when I went into the next store to discuss car seats and strollers.

The salesgirl at that store talked so fast my brain couldn't keep up. There was one sentence that was all gibberish to me. All I remember was hearing something that sounded like

You can use an InfantRoundaboutBSafeConvertibleAdvocateMarathon
CombinationBoosterClickAndSafeHarness and put it in your GracoTrekkoMountainBuggyDuoGliderWheelCityMiniTandemSportSnapAndGoBritaxDoubleWideDeluxeSwivelSideBySideBugaboo in silver, blue, onyx, paisley, cavalier, gray, navy, cardinal, crimson, red or cowmooflage."

Really? Cardinal, crimson AND red??? Do babies even care? (I know...it's the parents who care.) And just what the heck is cowmooflage? You know designers spent years coming up with just the right Holstein cow pattern worthy of being called cowmooflage.

Oh...and it's only $600 if you don't want any of the attachments.

Years ago, before we had all these laws and choices, kids were rolled through town in a wheelbarrow or rode on the back of a mule or were strapped to the back seat of a car with duct tape? (Kidding!)

Luckily my friend with twins (who is an interpreter) invited me over to her house to meet her kids and talk about parenting twins. She helped explain the stoller and crib situation. Whew. Hopefully I won't have another breakdown until I try to put together the crib or install the car seat. I've heard you need a degree in rocket science to do those.

The Award Winning All-Star Broadway Musical Which Will Be a Blockbuster Movie and (Maybe) a Mini-Series

If you've been reading my blog from the beginning you'll know that I started out joking that my story would be the next "Julie and Julia" entitled "Michael and Michaela". "Michaela" has been going through surrogacy too and I'm thrilled to say that yesterday she became the mother of a baby girl. I couldn't be happier for her and her husband.

Since you can't make it through this process (or any pregnancy) without a little humor, "Michaela" and I (with the help of some Facebook friends and now YOU) have been writing this Broadway musical/movie/mini-series. The descriptions of the songs are from the writers and you can see who gets credit for each song. This will be updated periodically as the cast and song list change and hopefully it will be completed at the birth of my children. Please feel free to make comments and suggestions for casting and song titles.


CAST LIST

Michael: Me!
Michaela: Amy Adams
Derek: Neil Patrick Harris
Aaron (Michaela's husband): Matthew Broderick
Michael's first egg donor: Mayim Bialik
Michael's second egg donor: Lea Michele
Michael's third egg donor: Natalie Portman
Chloe (Michael's surrogate): Jennifer Hudson
Lisa (Michaela's surrogate): Ashley Judd
Dr. K. (Michael's doctor): Hugh Jackman
Nurse Ratchet: Glenn Close
Michaela's doctor: Judy Greer
Michael's friends: Kathy Griffin, Jason Bateman & Eva Mendes
Michaela's friends: Ryan Reynolds and Tina Fey
Michael's parents: Carol Burnett and Martin Short

CREATIVE TEAM

Director: Steven Spielberg
Music and lyrics: Stephen Sondheim
Choreographer: "Michaela"

SONG LIST

"Makin' Babies in the 21st Century" - A song featuring porn, pipettes and petri dishes. (written by Michaela)

"Matchmaker" - A cover from Fiddler on the Roof with all new lyrics about finding the right egg donor and surrogate for Michael and Michaela. (written by Michaela)

"A Game of Telephone" - The joy of contract negotiation between two strangers via two lawyers in which messages are hilariously misinterpreted (written by Michaela)

"I'll Leggo My Eggos For You" - Several of Michael's absolutely amazing friends all offer him their eggs to help start his family. (written by Michael)

"Shootin' Up" - A raucous, western/country-esque song sung by Michaela and the egg donors and surrogates about the process of producing eggs and getting ready for the transfer. (written by Michaela)

‎"Circles of Life" - A song about the round shapes of eggs and the Life cereal Michael's friends ate for him and Derek. (written by Allison O.)

"It's a Hard (To Get) Knock(ed Up) Life" - The cover from "Annie" sung by Michaela's doctor. (written by Michaela)

"One" - An uplifting and exciting tap number about the great odds of only needing one egg to stick. Of course, there will be sparkly hats. (written by Allison O.)

"Somewhere That's Fertile" - A song sung by fetus as it dreams of fertile uteruses (uteri?). There will be fog and projections of a fetus gallivanting joyfully through uterine lining a la fields of daisies! Too gross...? (written by Allison O.)

"(It's all about) Pluses and Minuses" a duet/power ballad sung by Michael and Michaela as they await the results of their many pregnancy tests, while also contemplating the pluses and minuses of surrogacy and questioning whether or not they will ever become parents. (written by Michaela)

"Nobody Puts Baby (or Michael) in the Corner" - A sensitive and climatic power ballad that comes right before intermission and communicates Michael's determination to have a baby. Of course, since it's right before intermission, the entire cast will slowly enter and join in the song a la Fame's "Hard Work Reprise". (written by Allison O.)

"The Wicked Witch of the Womb's Lament" - Michael's nurse's song showing her true, inner feelings that's sure to win the hearts of the audience as well as a Grammy. (written by Michael)

"It's Not Over 'Til It's Ova!" - a second-act, buck-'em-up rousing song. (written by Thomas S.)

"Grooooooooow Baby" - Chloe's tender ballad hoping that the eggs stick. (written by Michael)

"Baby's Goin' to Beauty School" - Derek and Michael's duet realizing the babies can't go to Harvard because this process is draining their college fund. (written by Derek)

"Out There"- The fetus' song where they dream of what's beyond the goo. (written by Thom S.)

"Pushin' Real Hard" - a revival-esque gospel number about the birthing process sung by Chloe and the whole cast. (written by Michaela)

The Wee-Wee or Hoo-Ha Appointment

I hadn't seen my surrogate for almost 6 weeks. She had mentioned to me that she was showing. She had to order the pregnancy uniform for work because she was showing so much. When she walked into the waiting room on Wednesday she didn't look that big. She certainly had a baby bump, but it wasn't huge.

Then we entered the ultrasound room and she raised her shirt. Her stomach was big. I don't know what a typical 21 week stomach looks like, but it was bigger than I thought would be.

Yes...I know it's twins. I know she is going to get big. But at only slightly more than halfway through I'm concerned. I'm afraid she's going to be on bed rest by week 30.

The ultrasound technician, who I really liked and who will be the ultrasound tech for us for the rest of the pregnancy (and might even make a cameo in the Michael/Michaela musical/movie/mini-series/Broadway blockbuster) asked if Derek and I wanted to know the genders of the babies. We said no. Well, I had said from the start of the while process that I didn't want to know and Derek is OK with that. I wanted to make sure they each have 10 fingers and 10 toes, a couple of arms and legs each and a healthy spine, brain, heart and all those other important body parts. I couldn't care less about the wee-wee or the hoo-ha. (Those are the official terms. I'm a medical interpreter so I should know.) The technician said if it were a singleton baby the 20 week ultrasound would be the last one, but because it's twins we'll have ultrasounds every 4 weeks to make sure they're growing appropriately. I could ask for the sex during a future ultrasound, but I'm 99% sure I won't.

I got to work after the ultrasound and some co-workers were looking at the pictures. I told them I hadn't asked to know if the babies were boys or girls or one of each. One friend said, "I'll look!" As she looked through the pictures she asked, "Where are all the crotch pictures??? Did you tell the tech to avoid the crotch?!?!?"

So instead of knowing, I'll let you all vote. On the right side of my blog is a game to cast your vote. Or, if you're a fan of guessing, you can click on the link for ExpectNet and then click on "Enter a Guess" to guess the babies' due date, length, weight, and gender. I'll even give you some pictures to help you decide. Are these boys, girls or one of each?