Grooooooooow babies!!

How 2 men + 2 women - sex + science = 2 babies!!

This is the funny, heart-warming, tearful, inspiring, and shocking truth about my journey to have a child.

How a man, another man, a woman, another woman, a couple lawyers, a few doctors, a psychologist, a couple social workers and some agencies make a baby.

Monday, March 29, 2010 this is awkward...

On Thursday morning at 10 a.m. I met the potential surrogate. I went to the agency and met with the surrogate, “Chloe”, and two of the women who run the agency. As we started the meeting one of the ladies opened with, "So...this is always a little bit weird." It was when we started, but it wasn't bad by the end.

“Chloe” explained that she wanted to be a surrogate because of three things. When she was about 11 she saw a Lifetime movie about surrogacy and that put the idea in her head. A little later she saw Phoebe give birth to babies as a surrogate on "Friends." And recently her cousin has been trying to get pregnant and she talked about the idea of being a surrogate for her cousin, but the cousin didn't want that. She also said she liked being pregnant and feeling the baby move. I liked that surrogacy isn't an idea that popped up 6 months ago. It obviously has been something she has thought about for a while.

Then I explained why I came to the surrogacy agency and why I wanted a child. I cried. No surprise there.

We went over a lot of the things that must be agreed upon: is “Chloe” ok with me in the delivery room, what are our thoughts of selective reduction if she is pregnant with multiple babies, what are our thoughts on pregnancy termination, how involved do we want to be during appointments and after the birth. For the most part we were on the same page.

We looked at her insurance policy. There is a slight chance that “Chloe”'s policy does not have an exclusion about surrogacy. Many policies nowadays don't cover a pregnancy if the woman is acting as a surrogate. The lawyer needs to read the policy more carefully to know for sure. One of the agency ladies was looking at the policy and said usually an exclusionary clause is a whole paragraph in bold. “Chloe” said that she looked at all the insurance policies at her company and the plan she took was the only one that didn't clearly have the surrogacy exclusion. I have to say I was impressed she read through policies in preparation for becoming a surrogate.

I liked her.  I liked her more than I thought I would.  It is making the decision harder than I thought.  Honestly, I went in thinking she wasn't the right match for me and by the end of the meeting I thought she could be the right surrogate.  If I went in resistant and she still convinced me that's a testament to how much she impressed me.  It's true that meeting someone in person gives you a much fuller picture of who she in compared with reading an application.
I'm supposed to decide by tomorrow. I'm still torn. I went into the meeting thinking I wasn't going to pick her. But I like her. She seems sweet and genuine and serious about wanting to be a surrogate. I give her credit for having a baby so young and going to college and getting a job and having plans for a future. I may not know what I'm going to do til tomorrow when I talk with the agency.

However, I did just watch the "Friends" episode where Phoebe is a surrogate and gives birth to her brother's kids. Maybe that's a sign. Out of all the "Friends" episodes that could have been aired, what are the chances I'd see the one about a surrogate giving birth?

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