She likes me...she really likes me!

Today was the day I had to decide about my surrogate. Well, technically I was supposed to decide yesterday, but because I'm indecisive I put it off for an extra day. I just needed to think.
Today, at about 9:00 a.m., I talked with the agency and said I'd agree to work with “Chloe”. At 1:49 p.m. I got the email saying “Chloe” agreed to work with me too.

This decision was so tough. And I feel like there's no time to breathe because there is still more to do. It's never ending. Next “Chloe” has to go to the doctor for medical clearance, I'm going to the doctor in 2 weeks for clearance, the lawyers start doing more contract stuff, I have to sign my contract with the surrogacy agency, I still have to think about an egg donor and I have to pay the agency my next installment of money. I keep telling myself that a child is so much work that this is just preparation for the long journey ahead. If I can't handle this then I shouldn't be having a child. I'm just trying to take it one step at a time.

My friend Kristine talked with me yesterday and helped me make this decision. She gave me some good advice to keep in mind throughout this process. She told me that everyone is scared having a baby. My way has some extra issues, but fear is normal. She also told me to think about the outcome because I was getting stuck in the moment. And she said that people just have to make the best decision at that time with the information you have at that moment. I could think this through for days or weeks or a year and still be no closer to a decision. There's some faith and some praying and some luck involved with any pregnancy and getting stuck in my process isn't getting me to my goal. I have to try because if I don't, I'll never achieve my goal.

I need to find someone hot and wise to play Kristine in my movie!