Grooooooooow babies!!

How 2 men + 2 women - sex + science = 2 babies!!

This is the funny, heart-warming, tearful, inspiring, and shocking truth about my journey to have a child.

How a man, another man, a woman, another woman, a couple lawyers, a few doctors, a psychologist, a couple social workers and some agencies make a baby.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Signed, sealed, delivered

Hooray! On Thursday I got confirmation that the donor's husband did, in fact, sign the paperwork. Whew. That's a load off my mind. I believed he did intend to sign then contract and I believed he did sign the contract like I was told, but until he got to a fax machine and actually sent it to his lawyer and his lawyer sent it to my lawyer and my lawyer sent it to me I was holding my breath. Now I can breathe again and un-cross my fingers.

For the next three weeks or so I just wait. The surrogate and the egg donor are taking medications to prepare them for their respective jobs. The egg retrieval will happen, I believe, between August 18th and 20th. The two women go to the doctor a couple of times for monitoring this month. At any point, if they are not responding appropriately to their medications, their participation could be canceled. So I actually need everyone to cross your fingers again...even all the sign language interpreters even though I know it's hard to sign that way. It is scary to know that at any moment I could get a call saying everything is off. Please pray, throw salt over your shoulder, pick up a four leaf clover if you see one, wish upon a star one night or do anything else you can think of to help this process. You all have been amazing support so far and I need a little more.

I also got my surrogate's contact information. I just emailed her. It is a little odd to start a relationship this way, but I also am very hopeful that we will have a positive relationship with each other and have a unique bond that is unlike any other. For those of you out there who wonder how I can approach this relationship, the answer is that I don't know how. I am going in with a lot of optimism and peace knowing that she is probably just as awkward with this as I am and we will just figure it out as we go along.

As we get closer and closer to the actual date of the embryo transfer I realize I have to make a decision. I need to decide if I will continue posting or not. I know that most people do not announce a pregnancy during the first trimester and I am back and forth on if I will be ready to announce the pregnancy so early in the process. A major milestone in this process is the fetal heartbeat. A huge section of the contract starts after confirmation of the heartbeat at 6 weeks so that is a possible time to start blogging again. Most people don't announce to the world they are trying to get pregnant on a specific date. I have. I'll have to wait and see what I'm feeling at the end of August.

Maybe I'll use the first trimester for casting! I'm thinking an unknown actress as the donor since she's anonymous. We'll never see her face; she'll always be shot from behind or just a voice on the phone. This has a Best Cinematography Academy Award written all over it. Plus there will be the birth of baby and lots of crying and angst based on a real story so I'm sure we'll get at least win a few awards at Sundance or some independent film festivals.


  1. I hope you keep up the posting. Some folks delay announcement for superstitious reasons, but most are simply not wanting to expose themselves to all the inevitable questions and gut wrenching explanations if something should go wrong during that initial phase. At least, that was my reasoning for the first two. But with Rowan, I ended up needing extra blood tests and medication and was more concerned about losing the pregnancy, and I actually found it was helpful to have people know about the pregnancy, so I had extra support (and understanding when I did something scatterbrained or bowed out of some activity). Plus I just couldn't keep the excitement in.

    You, of course, are already in the boat of people knowing what's going on. If you stop blogging, you'll get even more "how is it going? is everything ok with the baby?" questions than if you were keeping us up to date.

    Just know that whatever you decide, we are all here to support you. Fingers crossed, prayers said.

    We love you!

  2. Krista Schafer EwbankAugust 9, 2010 at 9:14 PM

    hey, I'm a virtual unknown! I'd love to play your surrogate in the movie! ;)