On Friday the fertility nurse called and left a message. I'm not exaggerating when I say I was holding my breath during the first 20 seconds of the message because I was waiting to hear if it was good news or bad news. It was torture. I finally exhaled when she said everything was OK. The donor has 13 follicles. They were hoping for a little more so the nurse gave her a little more medication and on Monday I might have to order even more. So it's not bad, but it's not optimal right now. Hopefully a few more follicles will grow. I've been told they want to retrieve between 10 and 30 eggs so 13 is an OK number but more is better.
The surrogate needed a little more medication too, but she is very close to the expected results for her uterine lining. So again, we're not panicking, but it's not quite at the level that we all wanted.
The surrogate also contacted me to say that her friend is a filmmaker and wants to make a documentary about her process. She said she needed my permission. I know there is something in my contract with her and my egg donor contract saying that we will keep the other party's identity a secret. So I'm not 100% sure if she needs my permission if she doesn't say anything about me. But I'm leaning towards giving her permission anyway. I think it would be an amazing story for my child to see. I have to talk to my lawyer for sure to make sure this doesn't break the contract, but I don't think I have any issues with this. I'm very open about my situation so this film is not revealing anything new or unknown. A while ago the surrogacy agency sent me a message saying HBO was looking for people who were using surrogates and/or egg donors. I didn't have time to apply but I might have done that if life hadn't been so crazy at that moment. The more I talk about this (and my friend writes her blog) the more I hear stories about people wanting to know more, people who donated an egg, people who are considering a surrogate, etc. Information and exposure can only help bring this process into the mainstream.
I have been calling my boyfriend with updates about the women. I have to say that this process is so much nicer while having someone going through it with me. Of course my friends and family have been supportive beyond belief. As I have said many, many times this blog and the comments I have heard from other people have helped me make it through all this stress. However, having one person who is getting emotionally invested in this with me is calming and nice.
The exact date of the egg retrieval is still up in the air. It is supposed to be this Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. Then I finally get to send the donor my letter thanking her for what she is doing. I am looking forward to that.
Time to not breathe for the next three to five days. Keep sending me - and the donor - good thoughts.
Moist Banana Bread
3 months ago
I think a documentary is a wonderful idea, and if it's not a breach of contract (or the contract can be modified somehow in light of this) I think it would be even more interesting/informative/powerful if it included both of you. She probably needs your permission anyway because of the baby (you are his/her father, after all, who else can speak on his/her behalf?)
ReplyDeleteSending happy thoughts and prayers to all three of you!