Gay Parents in 2011

A couple weeks ago my ex-neighbor came by to check on her condo. She left her condo probably 3-4 years ago and hasn't been able to sell it due to a number of reasons. She now lives way out in the suburbs and comes in from time to time to check on things and talk with the condo board. This time we bumped into each other.

We started chatting and catching up on life. I mentioned I wanted to move soon. I wasn't really planning on going into the whole issue of having a boyfriend and a baby. It's not her business and, honestly, you never know exactly how people will react.

After a while of chatting things started to come out. I'm not sure if I was sensing it was ok or if I just got to a point where I didn't care if she judged me or if it was something else. Who knows? But I did tell her that I had a boyfriend and we were moving in together to a new place because I was using a surrogate and an egg donor to have a baby.

She was thrilled for me.

She said she had seen two pairs of shoes outside my door from time to time and was hoping I had met someone. And she started telling me all the schools in Chicago to check out and how to get into magnet schools and how she managed to get her daughter into the places she wanted.

I have to say it was a pleasant surprise. Although I don't expect many people to directly tell me what I'm doing is wrong, I also don't expect neighbors who are merely acquaintances to be not only accepting but excited about two gay men raising a baby conceived through a very un-traditional way. Granted, she's a single mom with a bi-racial daughter whose parents were organic farmers before anyone knew the word organic so she's not June Cleaver, but still...

I know with each generation we become more tolerant. And I know that my child will still have a lot to deal with: an anonymous egg donor mother, a gay, Jew...ish, vegetarian dad, a black surrogate, etc. But I also see my child's life as being accepted as normal from the vast majority of society in another 20, 40, or 60 years.